I remember those nights when I used to laugh,
Find amusement in childish things,
Had a smile so beautiful it made people cry in jealousy,
I didn't just walk away... I flew by everyday misery
I had wings that could glow in the harsh light...
I had voice so sweet men used to fall down to there knees and pray I would never leave...
NOW all that is gone like the famous wind
Holding onto memories turns me bitter like an old rusty car machine; no heart where the ignition is supposed to lay, no wheels spinning in my mind -they called me damages goods -a rotten apple with a muddled soul that's all I am now...

You tried to stop,
But it didn't work.
You tried to be happy,
But you only got hurt...

Another night,
Another curse,
Some time to cry,
It just makes things worse.

Another mark,
Another scar
Your skin cry's more,
You've had this feeling before.

You already know,
You are unwanted,
You are worthless,
And you are unloved..

The best feeling you have,
Is the blade that you hold.

In your bedroom,
You shut the door,
Only to break down again,
Crying all night,
No one knows what you do...

The next day,
You hope for the better,
It starts again,
Another story,
Another scar.....

I fell today and my leg has a bruise,
But I don't need to say this to you.
Not like you care.

I woke up earlier than usual today.
But you knowing this has no use anyway.
Not like you care.

I was there for you when they weren't.
Yeah telling you this hurts.
But it's not like you care.

Give me extra pills to borrow.
And I won't be here tomorrow.
Not like you care.

"We don't want her, she's too loud"
"We don't want her, she's too problematic"
"We don't want her, she's too fat"
"We don't want her, she's too *****"
"We don't want her, she's not 'Christian' enough"
"We don't want her, she's too depressed"
"We don't want her, she's not like her sisters"

"We don't want her, she's too smart"
"We don't want her, she's too skinny"
"We don't want her, she's too pretty"

When will I be wanted?

You only wanted a taste of my brown sugar skin, to kiss my lips that are made from all my sins, you never wanted to dance with me, only wanted to **** the sweetness straight from my veins, your tongue was quick, painted me a new horizon, made me feel like my brown skinned body was worth something to you, until you stopped, until I wasn't worth something to you, you've ****** the sweetness from me, my heart no longer beats like a drum, I lost myself inside of your watercolor eyes, I'm still trying to find my way out.

Always wanted , to be closer
Always wanted to love you more
Always given you my blood.

Always been drained of my blood
Always been loved to be used by you
Always Push away to be close to nothing

I thought of you in which thought should not be invested
Thinking the best dreams of innocent loyalty
Thinking of what you can see what I can give and show

Knowing that I have no looks, heart, or personality to you
Invisible , I know, yet popular with others, but not in you
knowing I do have more body parts than the fingers that hold money.

I am more than money, I know and I think, I have the heart of gold,
with knowledge that I have soul and personality, and and I know you are without the values.

Always thinking, I can do better, than to lose my freedom and sanity over you. I lost it all, basically in thought of you.
Always known I could be better, but love from me is real.

Always jaded in you, and of you. always death of the old me.

There's this cold.
A feeling.
It's a cold that isn't obvious, but very much present.
The kind that makes your whole body shake.
The cold feeling of being unloved by that one person, which has the power to shake your entire being.

- F.T