sometimes, i hear it
i miss it, and want him back
i miss the feeling of what i thought was love
and my family getting along so well
i miss our 4 am face times and the love he gave to me
but then i remember,
he never was patient
he always wanted to know more
i gave him more, yet he never listened
i cried and screamed at his false suspicions
he yelled back, his voice raspy from staying up late, indecisive on whether he wanted to make ‘us’ work
i cried because he never trusted me
i laid in bed, restless,
because he sent me to bed uneasy, fighting all night
yelling over the phone
never letting me glance at any other boys
never letting me talk to many girls
never trusting me to even go to walmart
it was unfair
and yet, somehow, i occasionally miss that boy
it’s been a year. i cry because i miss that love. i cry because i mess up and still get scared to this day that the boy i like is never going to trust me.
