but then you’d be jack and i’d be rose,
setting sail in a cruise trading questions just to get to know the other
then you’d stare at me for a beat longer than normal
i’d take note of the different type of glint in your eyes
as you ask me “where to miss?’
to which i’d respond with “to the stars”
we got the ocean below us
and despite its vastness
and atlantis’ threat
from down down down below
its vast clear surface a reflection of a crystal ball
of us and the future
yet everyone knows how it all ends
and so the ship sinks
but this time it’s not just because of an iceberg;
they’re the iceberg
and they pull me away from you
and it all comes down in a slow gradual yet sped up type of sinking
as if it were a tragic accident; one that was staged
‘cause surrounded underneath by their iciness,
they keep dragging me away from you
and the plans we made once the cruise reaches the port
and the route to which we’d go to once the ship is docked-
the way they repeatedly tell me that you’re not for me
is enough for me to drown
and i remember when you told me that we’re in this together
and that you’d rather be with me
through hell and back
than to never have stopped me from jumping out as response to the song of the waves,
from never learning my name
but this, darling i’d rather not drag you into this
i don’t want this love to be the cause of your downfall, so i’m saving you
by doing this i’m shielding you from hypothermia that they, that this tragedy will cause you
i hope the warmth of my embrace will be enough to last possibly a lifetime-
even if it’s the last
let the headlines label this,
as an accident, casualties upon casualties
for we both know better than that;
meeting you was never a blip in destiny’s timeline or a regret
my only regret would be
that we didn’t stay longer in the staircase
neither did we stop the cruise from heading in the direction it did-
towards our doom we could’ve survived
you must know, darling
that if there is a day that i await,
it would be the one where we’re once again in that staircase
and you’re wearing that lazy smile i learned to love
and everything would be alright this time
and there would be no crash, no sinking, no drowning, no separation
the cruise just goes to its next stop and its next
and we’d be drinking from flutes of champagne
voyaging through the vastness of this body of water,
safe from its threats in each other’s arms
but for now let them think
that any possibility of us drowned deep under
as the ship gets ****** by the greedy tides, the greed they breathe with

Dear titanic, tell me of how you survived your last hurrah- tell me of how you didn’t see the iceberg, tell me of how it felt to lay down on the ocean floor, tell me of how empty you are, the skeletons of your passengers are all but hollow husks- skeletons from a time that is now gone.
“I am not empty,” the titanic says back to me, her voice muffled by bubbles and groans from rust coated pipes.
“But you are, I say. “You are empty but filled with ghosts- yours, the oceans, theirs. They party and laugh and drink and dance and run in your rooms, your hallways that go on forever.”
“You are the empty one,” titanic whispers, rusty railings creaking.
Dear titanic, how did you feel, sinking, ripping in two- unable to be put together again, how did it feel becoming a broken heart? Did you bleed? Did you do it to yourself?
“Was your sink an accident?”
“What do you think?” She growls- groans and moans echo all around.
“How did the music players continue on as you sank- their instruments and lungs filling up with seawater as their somber music filled the ears of your passengers?”
“They just played on, soothing my pain,” came the reply.
“Dear titanic-” I started.
“Let me ask you- why have you come?” She demands.
“To learn your secrets of course.”
“That’s not why.”
“Who hurt you for you to seek me out? Why have you come?”
“I've come to find out what you did to survive.” I reply.
“Then you know now” She whispers, pipes groaning as she shook with mirthless laughter
“Do I?” I questioned.
“Yes.” I imagined her smiling at me- broken glass as teeth and sharp lines for lips.
“How did you survive?” I whispered, my heartbeat echoing in the stillness- needing to hear the words I hoped she wouldn't say.
“I didn’t.”


— dear titanic, tell me of how you survived your sinking // a.

An opal glacier,
Raven in the night.
An unreceived message,
Screeching warnings so bright.
A steaming screaming ship,
Unwilling to lose the fight.
A hundred escapes too few,
Now they’re all packed tight.
A thousand and a half dead men,
Who on that night, last saw the moonlight.
A coincidence by all means,
Which gave humanity a great fright.
A tragedy yet to be repeated,
As we move into the era of flight.

Blank page
scribble a name  
peebles of regret
pile on the chest

WE collided
memories sink like titanic
affection eclipsed by apathy
avoid you like you're an active shooter
I'm sorry...

I fell in love when the Christmas lights blurred around you
Creating this halo effect, and that's when, I knew, I found my angel
But my angel is not Biblical
He wears sweatshirts and the same old shoes
He talks during movies
He plays with my hair
And he's not perfect
He hurts
Hurts in ways that I wish I could heal
Hurts in ways that only real angels, watching from above, can understand
He hurts so much that he ignores the pain
Ignores all the pain
Ignores me too

I try to keep my heart afloat
But it's like the titanic,
No matter how hard I try
Which way I steer
It always crashes into an iceberg
It break in half
And slowly drowns the passengers in a froze ocean of depression
Where they scream and scream and scream
But all that can be heard, up above the surface, is silence

I'm hurting inside
And no one seems to notice
Maybe because I am so good at hiding it
Pretending it isn't there
Ignoring the pain just like everyone wants me to
Or maybe because no one seems to care
Care enough to look a little bit harder
To dig a little bit deeper
And find the teary eyed girl that hides behind her painted smile
Who's drowned all her passengers

I wish I had the wings of an angel
Not to fly away
But to fold around me
Like a cocoon of soft feathers and to have the
Silence
And I'll stay there, never emerge, never becoming this beautiful butterfly
Because butterflies are loved, cherished, appreciated
I am still this caterpillar trying to grow wings
Painting on this face
Sailing my boat
And idolizing the angel up above the surface

This black ocean
Filled with frozen hearts
Is made up of my tears i cry every night
The tears i weep in silence

S.O.S.
we're in distress
require immediate assistance.

Come quick as you can
tell your captain, Old Man
and pardon my insistence.

We're sinking fast
our ship won't last
despite our best resistance.

But as long as she floats
get ready your boats
to salvage our existence.

C.Q.D.
please talk to me
as it is, we aren't left much persistence.