patty cake
patty cake
baker's man
in the broken mirror
i slap my own hands
blood trickles down
from my skin
please
let me in
patty cake
patty cake
baker's man
please
be my friend
while you still can

i wonder
what you ever did
with all of the friendship bracelets
we had
i still wear them
it hurts too much to take them off

i wonder
if you still remember our secret handshake
that we made up
in the 2nd grade
and kept using
for years
i still practice it
with my tear-stained reflection
in the broken mirror

i wonder
if you still think about me
as often as i think about you
i keep going back
to our old, happy memories
the ones that you (probably) forgot
i sure hope not
because those are the memories
i can't get myself to throw away

i wonder
what you did
with all the pictures of me on your phone
did you delete them
or do you just keep them there
leaving them alone,
just like you did with the real me
i can't believe
that i managed
to cut your face out of a photo
a hole of emptiness-
resembling the one in my soul

i really miss you
but friends grow apart, i guess

My life is an act.
I'm pretending all the time.
And the crazy thing is that it's still not right.
It's still not enough.
Again and again, i ask the world "why cant i be normal?"
The world never responds.
I play every part I'm asked, but an actor can't play two in the same scene.
What do you want me to do?
I don't understand

I'm so tired

And in the finale
She knew where to rest
But was not able to sleep

Graceless facades---
The tiring age old game
Of mindless testing
Grows heavy beneath the brow.
The charade is hard to sustain---
Sometimes impossible---
Yet we must bear it
Time after time after endless time.
The cold fire keeps rolling,
Pushing testing the old confines
Beneath the eyes---

How much longer.....

Night hung in the heat.
Naked sleep offered no relief.
Even as morning creeps
rain tries to poke holes
in the heavy air,
but only a ‘dust devil’
is accomplished!