I wanted to tell you something
I practiced for hours
I came up with different versions
I needed to do it

But you didn’t answer
Nor the next day
Nor the next

Now it doesn’t feel special
I feel stupid for even wanting
To share with you something
So personal

Instead of talking to you
And getting closer
I’m reduced to writing you
About the distance

I have questions I’ll never get to ask
Answers I desperately need to hear
Thoughts seeping then escaping
So rarely any resonating

I drink more than I should,
Believe more if I could,
Die in your arms, wish I would
Guess I’m just misunderstood

Laughter turns to anger in my throat.
Senses scrambled when I need them the most.
Don’t you know we’ll all die alone?
Recognize emptiness in your bones

I swear more than I should,
Trust you more if I could,
Transcend doubt, wish I would
Purposely misunderstood

Chances left on the table like scraps
Another time we’ll never know
Things like this change everything
Sacrifice one for another again

I lie more than I should,
Love in full if I could,
Be young and free, wish I would
Always just misunderstood

I've sat on countless rooftops with dozens of people staring blankly at stars urging them to teach me something

Despite my pleas it's impossible for them to predict whether or not our little impact will render in this world

And still I haven't been able to understand why my very existence does or does not matter until tonight

On roof tops surrounded by great friends who wouldn't be here without the help of the stars aligning perfectly

The answer seems simple