I would rather look at the sky with stars and beauty
Go to sleep and see ugliness behind my eyelids
For hours asleep the nightmares come in

I would rather look at the moon full and fat
Then go to sleep and deal with the horrific details of my past
For the nightmares as I sleep

I would rather look at the aurora borealis
Then I have to deal with the horrific gory details of the future
For the night mares are comes in

I would rather find a planet in the sky with a telescope
Then deal with prophetic dreams of doomsday
For these prophetic nightmares calm in my sleep

I would rather pull an all night or instead

As I slowly they creep in my head from my stomach that is full
Of high calorie items
Not that I have an eating disorder
But this is why I watch what I eat before I go to bed
As these things creep in my head as a sleep
The night is full of terrors and it’s dark
My mind races and sodas my imagination
Causing me to have nightmares and night terrors
Because I did not check before I reck my self
Is there a Lay asleep  paralyzed in fear
Want to wake up screaming
Before I die in my sleep of these terrors
I struggle to sleep I have insomnia
I cannot sleep
I just cannot sleep
For the creeping in my head from my stomach below
Torment me why does the stomach is full or empty
Neither is good.
As i scream from the night terrors
In my sleep I wonder why my breath smells and my mouth is dry I want to get a drink in To me
Not to get drunk but what the whistle
Then I realize that it’s time to get up for breakfast
I have one yet again
This battle of the night terrors
The dreams of hell and the dreams of Sicilian mafia
The dreams There aren’t really dreams.

Don’t let the tormenters win
Don’t let the rapists win or the child molesters win
By killing yourself

Don’t let the terrorists win
Let the enemy win
By killing your self

Don’t let the flashbacks win
The emotions
Or nightmares win
By killing yourself
I have too many idiots to prove against to go and do something stupid and reckless

Dear auto hawk of Talklife
I am not who You think I am
You based me on my past and deleted my posts
Based on my past mistakes
I am an overly  emotional Young woman
Please do not mistake me for a psychopath
What a social path based on my poetry
What is wrong with you
Honestly
Why

What a girl is bullied
Call Fat
Or other demeaning names or slurs
She decides to starve herself of food
And a physical and emotional beauty
She’s at the hinterlands of her existence
Boonies of life
Outskirts of society

Before you decide to hurt yourself or **** yourself
Think of all the nuances
And the beautiful things that you’ll miss out on
It’s someone else’s ****** words worth your life
Worth missing out on the nuances in the beauty and the fun of life
If the answer is no I would suggest that you would stop
Because it ain’t worth it
Trust me I’ve been down that road
Many a times

Order to chaos, at a glance?
As a wholesome venture, of what we pronounce
Is adding the white of the eyes, an all of influence?
Has come to the fore, and shown the doldrum it haunts...

Peace and a real thirst, for a clue in the wry...
Sated with the coming hours, of decency we meant, will
The provision of seldom, toured and biased in courteous, shyness
An angel with passion to earn and each, insists dread, still...?

A place in the heart of civility...
A face asking the table of conscience, to look for the irony
Oft tutelage and their solaces, a penny to spend on originality...
A faith in the unknown, we reveal is fright's epiphany?

Voices we have heard, that made the point of a lifetime
With range and devotion to verify, the elucidation of meagerness?
And its boding history, the total of enumeration in the face of trying?
And the fertile now, and subtle distance to weighing the opuses we elect

Alcohol and judgments character?
Instinct is a shrewd contender, for what was a world of significance
And alarmed firsts, to the longest visit of intuition, or its faring?
A method of uniqueness, to show a calm of whimsy that is a seasons chance...

Meted reasons with a clash of simplicity for you...
Tales of reproach or in defense of totals, the schemes of things
Looking the part and petition of suppose, the tear we reveal is, due
The hands of antipathy in vice and demeanor, the identity we saw, become a meaning...

He walks the dark times alone
He never perfect despite his efforts.

hey
i know you’re going through a lot right now
and i know you think life isn’t worth it right now
but think of all the today’s
you thought you wouldn’t get through
and all the hard times
you thought would **** you

but please just keep going

you don’t know how long the future will last
unless you make it through this moment
that you feel like will last forever
until one day it’s in the past

then you’ll look back and say
“hey that wasn’t so bad anyway”
you have to just
keep
going