one good morning text
20 lovely words
unexpected each time
but greatly adored
a smile in class  
a pull of a heart string  
the infamous good morning text

I thought I deleted you
Actually that's not true
It's been 6 years now
That I've been messing with you
When will one of us get another
To take the place as a lover
Because we aren't in love
We just kiss each other

Why doesn't he text me
Maybe I should text him first
No, a guy must text you first
Maybe I should snap him
But he doesn't snap me back
He is not the right one for me
Why doesn't he text me
I don't like him anymore
Who needs a guy anyway
Oh, look he texted me
He wished me a good morning
I love him so much

I told myself we wouldn't

change

afterwards.
After the break.
After it ended.
After the relationship.

You probably told yourself the same thing.
Feeding yourself the mantra of

"We'll be friends now.
Eventually, it'll go back to how it was.
We'll be back to normal."

Well, did it?

I thought so.

I don't know how you think.
I don't know your mindset.
I don't know your values.

What I do know
is that you missed how we
used to talk.

The way you said it two nights ago on the phone.

"We don't talk like we used to anymore."

Me, being too caught in the moment, asked

"Why?"

You answered

"It was nice."

You could've said something.
Made the effort to go back to how we used to.
Maybe even ask me if we could
go back to "normal".

Why didn't you bother?
You can't expect me to
initiate
everything, you know?
If you thought it was so "nice"
you could've put effort into it.

I knew you were dumb,
but I didn't think you were stupid.

But if you really missed it
if you thought it was so "nice"
if you missed how refreshing it was to
hear us talk
like how we used to

Call me.
Text me.
Talk to me.

Whatever it is
I'm right here.

There's no need to hesitate.
You know I'll answer when I can.
You know I'll talk to you about anything.
You know I'll answer your questions.

I'll be right here.

We can talk like friends.
We can laugh like friends.
We can rant like friends.
We can cry like friends.

I'm just a couple texts away.
I'm just a call away.
I'm just a talk away.

I'm right here.

If I call, will you decline it?
If I text, will you read it?
If I love you, will you ignore it?

U disappeared off the face of the earth, and I’m going to be sick.
All because I’ve banished u,
But still I feel so sick.

Delete and then block,
Delete and then block,
& delete and then block.
The same cycle for all my social media accounts…
Except for about 3.

I left those open incase you want to come back.
Add and then friend,
Add and then friend,
& add and then friend.

That was a mistake.

Yes, I saw the new new.
That girl smiling brightly.
That girl taunting me,
“Na Nana boo boo, you can’t have him!”

Well.
That’s when I started to feel sick.

Well,
That’s when I texted u.

Well,
That’s when I broke all self control and discipline.

And well,
Here we are.

I’m sick of calling,
Sick of texting,
Sick of feeling,
And I’m sick of you.
#Sick

Honeysuckle and vinegar
Sweet and scalding
Heady in my throat
Staining your aftertaste
On the inside of my cheek

I can't stop thinking
Resting my head
Against your side
As you stand
Drinking in my scent

We're like honeysuckle and vinegar

a manuscript set forth
erors sprawld acros
every single page

t̾e̾a̾ stains spot it
where it lᵢₑs fₒᵣgₒttₑN
on your desk now

half finished here...

c h o p p y sentences
full of m̴i̴s̴t̴a̴k̴e̴s̴
marked up in RED

there are improvements
little notes jotted down
between the margins

waiting for action
as you steep a cup
to string it together