I'm sorry I run from problems
I'm sorry I tried to solve yours
I'm sorry I overshare
I’m sorry I make you bored
I'm sorry I stare
I'm sorry I look away
Im sorry im so hypocritical
And don't listen when you're political
I’m sorry each day turns me more cynical

I'm sorry for the things i've said
I'm sorry if I leave you on read
I'm sorry I didn't keep the teabag in long enough
I'm sorry I interrupt
Im sorry my confidence was eaten by the wind
And drowned by clowns who exposed my sins
I'm sorry I retreat within
Im sorry I cant f☆king sing
I'm sorry you excite me but despite this
I'm sorry for this constant apology

Im sorry im not polite enough
Not tight enough
I’m sorry my tastes aren’t soft to touch
I’m sorry im not bright enough
And my focus fades at your clutch
Im sorry im too open, too rough, too loud
And then too shy in certain crowds

I’m sorry that i’ve put on weight
I’m sorry I’m always late
I’m sorry I just love to procrastinate
I'm sorry I want to make plans
And i'm sorry I flake
I'm sorry you swallow my screams when I shake
I'm sorry I crawl to you like your warmth is my glue when I break

I'm sorry I collect pointless things
And give them half meaning
I'm sorry I give into temptation
In every situation
Im sorry I’m so contradictory
I'm sorry I interrupt
Or just don't listen enough
Huh, i'm sorry I repeat myself
I'm sorry if I don’t help
I'm sorry I forget to say goodbye
I'm sorry I don't confide
I'm sorry I'm always tired!
I’m sorry, I tried

I'm sorry I ego feast, and dwell on the deceased
I'm sorry I hate the beach
I'm sorry I need noise to sleep
I’m sorry im sweaty and need space to dance
I'm sorry you never got a second chance
I'm sorry I over stress
When i over over cook scrambled eggs
I'm sorry I don't shave my pu
☆ssy or legs

I'm sorry I can't articulate
And there for fail to conversate
I’m sorry i’m so needy
I’m sorry i’m so skint
I’m sorry if i'm not in the mood
Im sorry I can be so crude
Im sorry im so greedy
And sometimes so rude
Im sorry i’m just sick of take away food
Im sorry i’m erratic
And i’m sorry I cant f☆king hack it
I’m sorry some days I love you and others I don't
I'm sorry if i've made you lose hope
I'm sorry we disagree
I'm sorry I need more than you to feel safe
And less of you to feel free

Now take a step back and repeat this please;
I'll no longer be sorry for being me

You've filled your pretty head
With a million excuses and lies.
Stop wasting your breath;
I've seen and heard it all a million times.
Sorry, little boy,
but you're not as cute as you think.
You may think you're water in a desert,
But I'm not desperate enough to drink.
Because I may be lonely, but I'm not alone.

I attached myself to you so I wouldn't be alone
I became who you wanted me to be, my goal was to please you and only you, and in doing so I lost myself, and forgot the real me,
Now it's time to move on.. to cut the ties that bind.
It's time to take back my independence and freedom... what was always mine..........

Saying sorry is the hardest word to say in the english language.
Saying sorry is a humbling experience.
Saying sorry takes courage.
Saying sorry requires your own feelings to take a back seat.
I hate the word sorry.
At least I hate saying it.
I want to erase it from my vocabulary.
I say it too much.
I tend to apologize when it’s not entirely my fault.
I usually say sorry when I want to “save” a relationship.
Or at least try to make it better.
And it’s not even romantic relationships.
It’s friendships, family, etc.
I felt like saying sorry would change things.
I felt like that maybe if they saw me put forth the effort to make it work then they would too.
I thought that if I said sorry that they would say sorry too.
I was wrong.
Every time I said sorry no one said it back.
I took responsibility for my actions,
why weren’t they taking responsibilities for theirs?
I know I was in the wrong,
but I wasn’t the ONLY one in the wrong.
Why am I always the one to take the blame?
I thought saying sorry was supposed to make me feel better.
Why do I feel worse?
I’m tired of being the only one who is sorry.
I want to live my life unapologetic.
From now on the only thing I’m sorry for is not being sorry.
Sorry not sorry.

Washing my hands even though
I know they'll never really be clean.
Too many stains
From the blood, sweat and tears
That will never be seen.
My hands may never be completely clean, but I won't apologize.
I did what I had to to protect, love, and survive.

Thinking... "I should say I'm sorry"
Then saying nothing.
Because I'm not sorry.

Girl power.

My anxiety and depression can make me a ****** friend, but I’m not sorry.

For as long as I can remember, I have always felt the need to apologize for my mental health struggles. I felt the need to over explain everything. I always felt the need to apologize for canceling plans.

My mental health struggles come and go. I have good days, and bad days. When I have bad days, or weeks even, I disappear.

I don’t answer many texts, I don’t make plans, and if I do, I cancel them. It makes me not a very dependable friend, sometimes. But I’m not sorry, anymore.

Sometimes I need to take a break from everyone.

Sometimes I need to take a step back and be alone, while I figure out what’s going on in my head.

Sometimes I feel ready to see you again, but I’m really not. I’m not ready to talk about the struggles I’m facing yet.

I have always felt the need to apologize, and I’m done.

I don’t choose to struggle with this.
I don’t choose to have my thoughts racing all day.
I don’t choose to have a war with my mind everyday.
I don’t choose any of this.

I’m done apologizing for something I don’t have control over.

So, yes, sometimes, my mental health will make me a ****** friend. But that’s only because it is needed for my own sake.

So I won’t apologize for that anymore.

I won’t apologize for doing what is best for me.

And for the friends who have stuck around while I cancel plans, go radio silent, and patiently wait until I’m ready to talk, you’re the real ones. And I’m lucky to have you.

But, I’m not sorry for doing what I need to do to make my mental health a little bit better.

I’m not apologizing anymore.

Instagram- Caitlinfladager