blue like a well lit room
on a summer day, where the sun is warm but the breeze is cool.
the breeze, coming from my open window
which had been closed+ locked tight for two years too long.

Here you go. You want to hear it, don't you?
For all the space in your handphone I
Wasted sending you
Useless messages,
For how I borrowed you too much,
Ranting on about life, apparently too much,
Because I thought I'd finally found someone who'd
Listen, I guess I thought wrong.

And I sit on my bed, and wonder,
Were you ever the guy I
Thought you were?
Probably not.
While I automatically go about my day,
I keep my phone at hand.
I am yearning. yearning for the sound of bells,
The sound that I reserved for your messages.
Bells ringing, angels.

I used to think of you as my
Little devil,
Bad boy as you were.
****, was I right.
It hurts, you know.
How I opened me out,
Lied spread-eagled on the floor.
Dug out all my secrets, my Achilles heel,
me...I trusted you.
But I was Prometheus and you were the eagle,
You dug my insides out.
Ate them.

And for trusting you,
For believing, even once
That you were the one,

I'm sorry.

today was such a wonderful day
it was full of what i love
and the people i love
but yet i still feel empty
somethings missing from my life
and i wish i could tell you what is
but i'm at a complete loss for words
i want to be happy
but all i feel is despair
i want someone to hug me
and just ask me how my day was
i want someone to care about what i did
i want someone to want me
is it selfish to want to be wanted?

You were beautiful from the moment you stood out and said 'hi'
And I was nothing but a truck load of sad October nights,
but then I met you and I wanted to move on, yet freeze time...

I loved the way that you listed all your favourite bands,
and helped me see a side of music that I didn't understand
Though Taylor Swift will never be on your most recently played,
I know you'd still keep an open mind

And my mind will always be grateful enough to rewind..

Back to the first week when I was still a mess,
a dreamer with no drive,
writing a book for no one to impress
but I wrote thinking things would someday be different,

And i was right..

Cause in those November nights,
those long and tiring bus rides
you were the checkpoint every time I almost died
and now we're in December,
and I don't know how long is left of this ride..

I'd never thought that you would slowly start hating yourself,
just because I always swore you knew yourself better than anyone else
but it turns out that you are just another puzzle to unlock, to solve..

and in the second week of November we just sat there in a shop and read,
and in the third week I remember, sitting in a coffee shop, writing with passion again
oh what a wonderful way to be of use, as my muse and best friend

But feelings change, as hearts over think..
And sometimes all it takes, is just a blink back to November..

Oh, those insightful talks, about the impact of long walks
i held onto your every word and thought
but that was in November,
and those meaningful hugs and that early morning rush..
you caught me busted, running from the bus'
and now I'm sentimental

Oh I know you'll find someone maybe in a month or two,
but I hope you'll always love me as much as i love you
'cause all I seem to remember last month
is that for all of November,
you were the reason why I couldn't give up

the last text i got from her said
"I don't want to go to work"
it was a saturday afternoon
i was asleep
and i didn't reply

that was a month ago
i've tried contacting her since
but to no avail

i miss my best friend
i need my best friend
i want to cry to her
i want her to cry to me

at times like these
i need her most
when it's 1am and im vulnerable
my thoughts race

becca come back to me
tell me what i did
to send you away
i ruin every friendship

there was a boy
in the horizon
so bright
as if riding
the sun

there was a boy
in the horizon
standing with
whom he called
angel

there was a boy
in the horizon
oh helios,
he was
steaming

there was a boy
in the horizon
shining too bright
compared to my
dim light