The water rains down on me
On my face, in my hair
Thoughts overwhelm me
I long to curl up at the bottom of the tub and cry
I could sit there forever so I don't even try
But I'll stand there and thing of you for a while

You're breaking my heart
Then you mend it again
It's a ruthless cycle  
But I'll endure it until the end
I love you so much
I'll never let you go
I know it's ****** up
But I need my soul

I miss the way things used to be
But I love how things have grown
Just wrap your arms around me and say something sweet
I've never felt like I do with you before
I'm so scared of losing you
I don't know what to do

My anxiety builds
My heart cries
I need you by my side
Please make my heart feel better

I stand in the shower and think of you
My thoughts overwhelm me
I don't know what to do
The water rains down on me
My thoughts are overwhelming
I'll stand and think of you
Until my lips turn blue

She attempted to burn her skin with the mere faucet
But no matter how warm the water became
the only marks on her skin were those previously left
by the hands of the rusty blade - hidden deep within her nightmares

She lay naked on the shower floor
****** legs and ****** arms spread out in front of her
and only she could make out the difference
between her tears and the running water

This child knew in that moment
that her every second on this earth had been a waste.
If only her mother, or the man that claimed to love her
knew just how empty she could feel
they would surely want no part in her disasterous real

So she lay down in the shower
as the water ran cold
and prayed for it drown her
with the small hope that there was still a God to show

I met you and my life changed for the better
everything seemed to have  a brighter color because
you started a fire inside of me that I didn't even know was possible.
Being around you made everything okay
but now I'm in tears on a plane and I am blaming you.
I thought I was getting better because of you
but I was only absorbing your light.
I was washing your hair while in the shower at five the morning
because you spent the night and your phone lit up "princess"
I can't believe I didn't realize  that your princess isn't me and
your princess never will be me and I hate you so much for
letting me love you  with no intention of loving me back

I eventually found clarity on clear nights
The nights where the stars would tell stories of myself
One star told me that she saw me crying one night on the shores, she didn't have the heart to ask me why
Another star told me that she saw me pacing back and forth in my backyard asking myself why I was born
But there's one star that told me this story where he saw me laughing on the beach with some familiar faces. He said it was the first time he saw me smile that season. He saw me smile again when the meteors showed their face that night.
A meteor chimed in and said, 'We took our time that showing up that night because we saw a love rising. Multiple, actually. We saw your face light up more than our trails did every time he spoke."

oh how welcome is  
warm water slowly dripping
embracing the icyness of my body
with it's vast whiteness