How can it be that
a melody can make you feel like you belong
and not, all at once?
I find myself in a composed dissolution
The world can stop, and the ground below me will give way to
the sudden awareness of a sensation
that is similar to being lost in your own room.
Suddenly, this "place" seems very raw
Things inside you open up  and makes distinguishable
where you are
where you've been
and where you've yet to be.
And
Sometimes people are like that.
Your eyes are where I am
Our fights are where I have been, time and time again
and finding peace with those two rifts is where I have yet to be.
Glaciers could snap and crash with volleys of icy hell fire
Soberly frozen earth could nick my cheeks and arms
and my cold skin could remain as tout as a tuned string instrument
ready to produce sound
But,
turning inside myself, searching for a bridge to this rift produces a silence so deafening
I can hear the humming of stars

A baby was brought into this world
but not without
preperation

Not without
Questions

Will she be an athlete
Will she like the color pink
She will be a blonde I think

The parents read the books
bought the diapers
had the showers

All leading up to 6:56 a.m.
On September 28th 2001

That was the day I met my beautiful little sister
She is 14 today and here are the thigs Ive learned
She loves the feeling of the wind as she runs
and hates anything green
She loves the movies we see
the books we read
and the laughs we share

But I hope she knows that the thing I love the most
is
HER

I need to say that sleeping is...
hard to achieve when your goals are set high, and yet something prevents me
to convey just how difficult rest is to apply to your day to day life
trying to get by
Every year around this time I get weird without knowing why...
Leaves start to fall and my body starts shutting down in depression that won't let me live my life happily without dodging the darts, here's my vain confession, I'm scrolling through a lie, reading stupid people's denials... just an advice:
don't let them tell you that you don't suffice... you **** well know what you have to do, just shut them up with a smile that says "I hate you too" ;)

The months of August
September
October
Give me warm feelings
Sweaters, falling leaves
The trees are slowly losing their color
Pumpkins, glowing bright in the night
And young children playing in the streets
Fall is beautiful

Mouth gaping
Words spewing out
Don't give a ****
this is me
without a doubt!
Overflowing with
Excitement!
Face painted with
Cheer!
Even in the times
of **** stained kicks
I persevere.
This is just me.
I'm queer.

September 2014

warm wine flowing through my body
(Cabernet being ironically the same color as what gives me life)
directed me to my room
at approximately 11:25 pm that Wednesday.
A light in the left corner painting a pleasant and inviting
gold
I tumble into my queen bed
laughter airily escaping my lungs, exhalations of exhilaration
Ruffled a string of words into a message.
Borne of unadulterated joy and hopeless seclusion,
radiation from my center came out of my fingers as
"**** me like the angel I am. I am true beauty and divinity and deserve to feel like a goddess"