I stand by what I say. I am building my way.

Don't give those thoughts any attention
But if I won't, they will turn into action!
I am done, my patterns drain me out.
I will let everything happen just the way it does.
Just the way it wants, it needs,
It's happening. Here, now.

Turning on and off myself
Daily
Losing hope, gaining hope,
Dreams illusions
On repeat.
Self-blame and shame.
And pain.

I am here now,
How dare I not be grateful for everything I have?
I go too fast, my body says.
I am alone.
But I am truly grateful to my bone.
I am forever free.
Indeed I always have been.

Now,
Here,
This connection is everything
I ever wanted.
My relaxation
Because of the beginning cold,
And the connection with my body
That it brought ❤️
My dancing is the same as healing.
I am grateful for persevering.
:)

Once anxiety hits in
It spreads around like lava
Projecting negativity
And causing so much drama

So I increase awareness
To end this pattern's madness
Restoring back my mindset
Slowing down, gentle reset

Breathing consciously
I remind myself
I am the one responsible
For my mental health

Comparison arises
It causes an earthquake
This is the perfect timing
To become awake.

I keep doing my thing
And my next tiny step,

I keep doing my thing
And my next tiny step,

I keep doing my thing
And my next tiny step...

I am projecting
My self-rejecting
Onto other people

This harmless action
Destroys connection
All in my brain
A habit contained

Now realizing
Awareness sings
Let's liberate
Don't be afraid

Fears are surreal
Anxiety's real
People are mirrors
Of how I think and feel

Meditation, meditation
Meant to be healthy vibration,
Diving deep into the now
Losing every form somehow.

Feeling guilty
I neglected
My long meditations.

Feeling overwhelmed
Many tasks
In my head.

I am now avoiding
My own self-
Confronting.

Wanting peace
Still.
To know how I feel.

I am myself but
Ugly.
And maybe that's
Why I feel sick.

Sick of playing some role
To everyone around me.

"You're so beautiful, nice."
"You're an angel", they say.

But they don't know that I
Struggle every day.

I should be so grateful
For my physical health.
So thanks.

But I am disappointed
By having panic attacks.

Breathing gets very shallow,
Sometimes I lose control,
In my mind many thoughts,
I feel lost and alone.

Hundreds pieces
Are called Me.
But who manages it all?

Sometimes I want to hide
In a warm dark safe place
Where nobody sees me
And I don't need to be
Anyone.

I don't need to play
Any role.

I can call this place
My home.

I can feel whole
On my own.

Where I hold myself
When I am worried.

And I tell myself
Different stories.

Where I truly believe
In love.

Where I feel
As though I was enough.

Lost inside
Fractions of mind
Consciousness split

Bubbling up
Unhealthy impulses
Hurting

Hurting
Hunting
Hating

Conflicting parts
No peace
No bliss

Paralyzed
In a dissociative
Circle

Let me out!
You have to endure.
Every feeling

So I am enduring
Breathing
Numb

Opening one eye
Hate. Closing it.
Opening another eye
Lust. Losing it.

Never opening both eyes for too long.
Awareness. Awareness. Awareness.
Searching.

Reminder?
How to connect with myself
When there are 100 parts
Within me arguing.
Unpleasantly.

Who am I?
Who was I yesterday?
And an hour ago?

I am fear.
Afraid to lose control.
I am freedom in disguise.
Lock me up.
Hide me in those woods.
Tyranny.

Being is survival
Existence a struggle
When you fight.

So stop.
STOP.
Stop fighting. Now.

It's alright, baby,
Just the way it is,
No need to change a thing.

It's alright, baby,
Just the way it is,
No need to fall apart.