How do we say what sits in our mind
Without falling to the consequences
The painful and unforgiving kind
That manage to alter each of our senses
Unsure of the words you'll sit and try
To construct that perfect alibi
To explain away the confusion you face
Until you reach your peaceful place
A place where there is no way to harm
But only feel love as they sit in your arms
Though the road to this place is unclear
The truth is that it may soon be near.
Though we sat in the darkness up to now
Soon sanctuary will emerge from it's cloud
And as we try to describe how we feel
Or declare how it may not seem real
We must stay strong and weather the storm
To reach sanctuary with all of its warmth.

This is my place of sanity
Away from these toxicity
This may look like mess but really,
I find everything in clarity

Writing empty words on paper
Unsaid thoughts from ponder
I would even consider
Writing feelings that I uncover

I used to have a happy place
Beside you where I can see your face
A touch of your hand, glimpse of your smile
Makes everything worthwhile

Years passed and a lot has changed
Once in awhile I still feel strange
Now I have a new book to age
Its time to turn the page

I guess now its clear to see
All the things we could never be
But I'll give you a piece of honesty
That you will always be my sanctuary

ACS Svelte Rogue
31/01/2016

His restraint heart
A sanctuary for her
Where she lost and found
Her forsaken vile self

in quietness
      and confidence
shall be
      your strength...

Isaiah 30:15


cj 2016

The memory of what he did brought even more memories to mind
Slow at first but picking up speed, it's all starting to unwind
I don't want to look, I don't want to find
But when I close my eyes there they are right behind

It's been almost a year, but all these thoughts have come rushing in
Because it is mushroom season again
The woods I would have to go within
I always loved to romp about out there,but now thoughts twist and bend
Losing my sanctuary was the greatest sin

Dragging me out to my beautiful wood, so I could be his prey
The feel of the freash damp earth under foot, birds chirping in the trees, I will remember it ALL till my dying day

My hands tied behind my back, it would be easier for him that way
He pushed me to my knees, invading me from behind just like my step daddy did so a ****** I'd stay
He knew it would bring back those memories of my yesterday's

With that veil evil deed, so many things got lost
My woods, singing birds, the river's bend, what a cost
No more fishing, no more camping, no place to take off my disguise
No sanctuary to run to, all of this I'm starting to realize

He was an intelligently crazy
He was destroy the last place that was my safety
He was taking my last bit of joy I could get
He was very cunning in that, I'll have to admit

He found away to continue to bring me agony
After all these years he couldn't just let me be
He made my tormented life worse by many degrees
So now standing at the edge of the woods I freeze

He took my place
To feel warm and safe
New and catastrophic agony is now a cold fire inside
There is no place to hide
It's left me fighting hard not to end it all and die

I am lost.









And i don't want to be found.
I need to be *saved

And on the headstone where I watched out love die:

(T)hat
(H)aunting
(E)pitaph

(E)motions
(N)ever
(D)ie

Before I die I want to be somebody's favorite hiding place. The place they can put everything they need in order to survive. Every secret, every solitude, every nervous prayer, and be absolutely certain I will keep it safe.