I was in the edge of losing my mind;

Darkness tried to swallow me wherever I hide;
I lost everything including myself.

But there was one thing that remained;
The memories.

and though they were blurred, and weren't the same;
It was more than enough to keep me sane.

With these vacuous sentiments
I sweep the remnants of myself
(rust and stardust)
you meticulously unravelled
and scattered in crevices of this 33sqm room.

But you can’t chase away a figment
And this recreation of you that loomed over me
I couldn’t escape your fog
I felt the allure of your darkness
And how it used to pull me in

You became an outline in the night
And I struggle to keep you near
Because when I kept on all the lights
I was blinded by my own fear

As I passed you, I painted blonde streaks across the bed
I thought it was a sign that was obvious and red,
But you were no longer the person that I knew
So I tried to shine straight through

I looked for you in the elbows of streets
And see pieces of you in every one I meet

No longer did I want to feel the sadness
Of your deliberate ignoring habits
You can disregard my presence
But I know you still live in remnants

The silent darkness you surrounded me with
Cannot suffocate me any more
You see, I am no longer fearful of the night
Because when you left me
I learned how to create my own light

Broken in repetitions 
Lying stagnant in defeat 
It's only been one girl
But my heart's barely breathing
 It took me years to love again
It's not that easy to just say hi or hey
Not just any girl to fall in dismay
The heart's recovering from the past pain

I wish it would hurry up,
I wish time would run its course,
my mind has become detached,
and my heart I wish to divorce.
this pain is ebbing away,
in the dark depths of my soul,
it is not so easy to fill a gap,
when all that is left is a hole.

Pushing away every viable ardor
Beats of fragments danced in my head
Every girl that came with open arms
Lure me with expectations that never seem to last
Those sweet nothings will gave me infinite hope of catching feelings
Always shutting the door and locking it.

**But this door can only stay locked for so long,
I've lost sight of what is right and what is wrong,
such expectations have destroyed me helplessly,
I've been choking on my pain, breathlessly.
when they came around, I was full of vitality,
and now they're gone, I've been living rather absently.