She falls in love with rejection
The lack of attention
She may need an intervention
But it cant be prevented
The mere mention
Of self descension
Wraps her mind in a new dimension
She falls for degradation
And cant help her fascination
She is stuck in a contravention
Which leads to sleep deprivation
He is not easy to fool
She thinks in admiration
She is in love with rejection and his never ending reprehension

The worst thing my parents ever taught me
Was to worry what other people thought of me
The worst thing to tell a child with anxiety

At the time I didn't know that it was wrong of me
To accept the burden of responsibility
For strangers who only saw a part of me

I shouldn't have put them before the thought of me
I didn't know it would be the lobotomy
That kept me hiding in my room for 10 long years

I didn't know it would ****** my autonomy
That you can't fake it 'til you make it if your introspection is an autopsy
That you can't **** a part of your soul

With whiskey or with *******
With bleach or box cutters
With street drugs, with a blind eye

Jesus loves all of the little children
And the church loves all its little saints
But when we express our love not with words but with paints

When the checkmark just doesn't fit the box
And our expectations weigh like chains on the children we so claim to love
They are slaves

To the 9 to 5 domestic gods that clash like thunder every night
Too absorbed in their own fight
To see the fear inside your eyes

Slowly wearing down the fire in your soul
With the grit of their need for control
Teaching you how to be the best version of them

The one they didn't have the guts to master on their own
Abandoning the flower children with the starry eyes
They once claimed spoke their deepest truths

Trading in the wild spirit in their currency exchange
For your future
So they can be so comfortable on their thrones
While they forward the blame to a new address

The hordes of walking dead they left behind
Carrying the consequences
Rejecting all the that we were handed

Gaslight me on fire again
So I can shoulder all the hate that tried to smother my spark
Like your right to be comfortable trumps my right to be here

I didn't ask for this
So when you call me by my new name
Remember all the times you tried to tame me

All the times you defamed me
While telling me stories of a God of endless love
You can't take the perfect mess that you've created

And make a masterpiece, because I am one

We are made of star stuff
And I'll be ****** if I deny the perfect love I was promised
just because for once you didn't get what you wanted

I wish I could touch you again
To feel your body beneath mine.
I am angry by how beautiful you look
Because maybe if you weren't for a second,
I would be able to get a grip.
My feelings are a tornado
And I'm trying to find myself inside them.
But I'm worried I am lost.
The guilt I feel about loving you
Is giving me nightmares.
The happiness I feel from your touch
Is hurting my heart.
The sorrow I feel from your rejection
Is choking me.
But maybe it all makes sense when you look in my eyes
And
I swear
I can't help but love you.

window panes in the dark
secrets locked within...
twisted whispers whirl about
dance the dance of sin.
broken mirror on the floor
yesterdays hope reflected...
dreams dangle from a noose
forbidden love rejected.
cinders pop beneath the hearth
vacant words to vapor...
crimson color stealing sight
blood of her hearts *****.
nevermore she softly sung
while razor slipped into flesh...
pleads for help screamed unheard
as body made final thresh.

end.

The surface of me is overwhelming
The light within couldn't make it
Cracks ran too deep and all too thin..

Did you hear of the war woo?
I heard it once,
it rang as though a foreign tongue..
God, the sound of it
Felt like heaven...

I am reluctance
Walking a thin line
Between cowardice and foresight..

See I fell off that cliff once
My body couldn't take another no
I still feel anchored to the ground
On which I stood the first time
I wasn't enough..

Tell me, have you heard of the war woo?
I fear words aren't enough for you..

Eyes inch to closing
I watch the grey road race by
Through lashes that imprison light
I put another brick atop this wall
And wonder if it's worth the fight
I couldn't take it If once more
all the good intentions just meant no

Though not at fault, I sing apologies
Seeking clemency through melodious songs and broken symphonies
These hands cannot concoct the needed remedies
And are notorious for exacerbating tragedies

We traversed a single road and at the divarication
A duet of goodbyes signaled the shifting of attention
The surroundings committed an aberration
Yielding you years of consistent tribulations

Enigmatic is how the unpredictable universe shall eternally operate
To its oscillating desires, the hands of time convulate
I deem us victims of it and its partner, mischievous fate
When the world slowed down for you, they made mine accelerate