It feels like ants are crawling over my hands and removing the skin to carry back to their hill.
My eyes are like two cotton *****, dry and heavy.
There is a blockage in my throat like a python has curled up in a ball right at the back of my neck.
And now my torso is no longer connected to my legs,
they are two separate entities.
One scrambling around the room trying to find something to do
while the other half lays stuck in bed, too heavy to even lift a skeletal finger.
The ants have take away all the skin and muscle from my hands to build their nest.
But it's not enough so they make their way down my throat, past the python, to my stomach, where they begin devouring me from the inside out.
Once all that’s left is a graveyard of bones,
the ants move along,
onto the next source for their ever-growing hill.
My skeleton is left to the elements,
well as much of the elements it can be exposed to laying in a pile of sheets and comforter.
I shed one last tear from my eye socket even though there are no tear ducts left for me to use.
My soul fades completely from the scene as the last straggling ant jumps from my skull and the python abandons the vertebrae left behind, needing a new food source to thrive.
A sad sack of bones,
what’s left of me lays in the bed as everything around it falls apart year after year.
Until all the decay is over and the process of rebirth begins.
Saplings shoot up through my ribcage
and flowers grow through the eye sockets where my tears used to fall silently.
Beauty replaces the feelings of death and dread as
the last piece of my soul is finally laid to rest.

you turned me into a flower
beautiful to hold
and easy to cut down

spun my silk skin
into a blanket
just to keep you warm

set me on fire
just to watch me burn
left me ash and rubble

but I came out
phoenix and scarlet beauty
I came out
steel and armor heart

   - Try to break me now

Today......in some places, heavy rains and
gusty winds rule, no way to control them
today, here where i am....sun beams with
fire.........hands keep fanning the hot spell
away, i think of ice...of snow falling from
heaven....touching the skin with coldness
that freezes the sadness in our heads...we
slowly become aware.........silently, gently
it fills spaces...seeming weightless.......yet
it soothes feelings....every drop, a comfort
we ponder more, as it amasses....painting
hills,  mountains, with  immaculate white
all over.....as if choking, but never slaying
cleansing........healing.......even the human
heart and mind, from bad energy......from
stubborn dirt......from being broken.....the
sparkle of white and  the refreshing  cold
bring clarity  to one's darkened  thoughts
a respite....a shedding of old, broken skin
much like new existence..............a rebirth.


Sally

Copyright Rosalia Rosario A. bayan
September 16, 2018

I went to China
to find independence
Instead I was reborn

But I don't know,
I have weird sensations
that I am struggling with the problems
Problems I already solved

Or maybe I am just trying to censor myself
While all I want to do is-- me.

Beneath the paleness of the autumn sky,
The tired ground takes respite from the heat,
Life departs with green of leaves fallen dry,
Barren and ready for growth to repeat.

Cold wind crackles against the branches bare,
And mornings now too quickly greet the night,
While the birds and butterflies disappear,
Warm raindrop kisses wet with chilling bite.

The weight of the gray air wilts the flowers.
Have pastels washed away for evermore?
Weary nature calls upon its powers
And from its weakest point starts to restore.

I shield my eyes in refuge from the cold,
Imagining the life there is to mourn.
Then I’ll recall the lesson nature told.
You need a little death to be reborn.

I INTERRUPTED the death
of a quaint soul this day
who wandered aimlessly
across frozen fields of May.

She spoke a single word,
"Beloved."

Her soul cleaved into
part of a half from two.

Gently held within my hand
With a word I put them
back into a whole
and then spoke
a single word;

"My beloved."

Crack a smile
You are miles away from trouble
Doubled is the distance
When our insanity is humbled
By an infinite unfolding of things

How long has it been
Since the universe sang to you
The stars chime in
With gladness for the fact
That you are still around?

Come now
Unravel that belt you have tied
So tight
Around that blue well
That speaks in wisdoms
Kick the chair from 'neath your feet
To step into new kingdoms
Of hope

The truth is that
There is plenty to be done
And so much time to do it in
It's when we wish it all at once
That we forget the go-between

The sorrow twix the laughter
The pain before the meaning
The tomorrows post-disaster
The gain after the teething

It's that non descriptive feeling
Like the cat that got the cream
The sunrise out of darkness
I call it hopamine