I'm making a promise to myself, that this year will be different.
No longer will I prioritize those who do not care about my mental health. This year I will learn to put myself first, because self care is NOT selfishness, it's necessary.  
And I deserve it.  
I will love myself MORE than I fear abandonment, and I will NOT shrink myself to fit inside anyone's expectations of who I'm supposed to be.
I make a promise this year to be loud and bold and unapologetically myself. A promise that I will speak my truth, even if some might find it uncomfortable or hard to hear.
I will own every choice I make, and I will never again be controlled or manipulated into forgetting the boundaries I've set.
I promise that this year I will finally implement all the lessons that life has been teaching me.
2024 is gone
But this is not a "New year, new me" post.
Rather this is a
"New year BETTER ME, HEALED ME, HAPPY THRIVING HEALTHY ME" post.

This year I will stop questioning my worth, because I recognize I was searching for it in all the wrong places, mainly in other people.
I will never again forget my worth, because now I remember where it lies. Not outside, but within myself. I am a complete person, and never again will I stay in relationships that harm my mental emotional and spiritual self, just to avoid the loneliness.
I will stop accepting half *** people who only offer breadcrumbs. I promise to be content in myself and who I am. I make this promise to myself that I will remain happily unattached romantically, until someone comes along that does not expect me to complete them, or fix them or baby them, because they too know they are a full, complete person, all on their own.
I will not enter into any relationship unless it is because, as two whole people, we want to share eachothers fully established worlds. Not to complete or fix
eachother but to simply enjoy eachother.

I promise to never forget the hurt, the pain, the loss, and all the lessons from the past few years. But I also swear to myself not to live in those memories any longer. I have allowed my past to spoil
FAR TOO MUCH
of my present already, and I refuse to allow it to take anymore.
I finally learned what life has been trying to teach me. I finally understand why no matter how much of myself I gave away, in hopes it would bring me the love I was desperately searching for, it would have NEVER been enough.
I was giving myself to the all the wrong people, for all the wrong reasons.
I promise to forgive myself for that aswell.
I promise to not allow any unhealed people to hold my heart, because I've learned my lesson about that one. Never again will my heart be trusted to anyone who is not intouch with their own.
And although that means I am going to lose people I had thought were going to be with me forever, I will not let that break me. I will remember the good times with the people that forced me to lose them, but I will also keep the lessons from all the bad times.
I will pick MYSELF up this time, and dust off my past MYSELF.
This is going to be more than just a new chapter in the same old dusty book of me, this is the second volume. Its my part two, where the truth is revealed,  that the HERO
I've been waiting and searching for this entire time, was me, all along.
THIS is my PROMISE  to myself, and always remember, I DONT BREAK MY PROMISES.

Spoiled Oaths


Every night I gazed over the window,
I can see your intangible shadow.
The infinity ring once our bond,
Now lost, leaving holes shattered upholds.

You  whispered " The universe of mine, Never intertwined"
Beyond the stars, you forgot to keep your promises aligned.
Yet, I yearn to leave this stained wine table
Spoiled oaths; echoing my mind unstable.

Treacherous cobblestone memories,
Gaining the weight of wistful fantasies.
How do your letters feel me like a vow?
Why does your name tortuously haunt my mind somehow?

Ocean deep, recalling your promises,
Breath rattling for longing chances.
As you said, I'll never leave; A "Never-ending"
Sacred oath; but I was bleeding.

Underneath my bed, I restore that pain,
But the sequin demise of love remains.
Memories linger, and stories are untold,
A Promise to grow old; it unfolds.

My words, they have no meaning
On deaf ears they fall.
Torn straight from my heart, still their nothing, not a thing,
Not a thing at all.
You don't believe my love, my pain, or my rage.
They're all just words, sometimes clever, but still just empty words upon a page.
How do I change your perception?
Become more than just the pusher of a pen.
A thousand times I've tried, through oh so many rhymes still here we are,
Here we are again.
Just words falling upon deaf ears.

For crying out loud
Due to the outcome
I was not particularly proud
For more than two centuries, election days go and come
At a similar season, every four years
This time, there were plenty of wows and tears
Of disappointment, heartbreak, anger, anxiety and sadness
And the other half was full of glee or happiness
Such is life. Politics is a ***** and unpredictable animal
No, America did not die. Things are normal
We’re still talking about immigration, liberty
Freedom of speech, and of course the economy
We’re hoping that everything will be better
America has been great for a long time, forever
It’s redundant to add ‘again’ to the propaganda
Yes, America did not die in the middle of the political saga
Where the two parties fought fiercely like two strong tigers
America is an immensely prosperous country
Ignore the false promotional and advertising slogan
America is a huge market with a very rich economy
Ignore the wacky and illusory politicians and Élon
Tigers, lions, jaguars and hyenas are fighting and vying
For their portion or stomach. It is a new political spring
In November. America will not die, on the contrary
We pray, hope and dream to see a better country.

Copyright © November 2024, Hébert Logerie, All rights reserved.
Hébert Logerie is the author of numerous collections of poetry.