what happens when your mothers tongue is tougher than a fist? I see more of myself in my father now than I ever did.

I don’t recall how distance came between us but in mirrors I tend to see it; in the reflection of a pint glass, the emptiness reminds me.

Stained glass vision from the intoxication. I always promised myself I would never turn into this. Pixelated morality, the lines are always blurry. I never see my smile clearly.

Funny how we always run into the things we are running away from. Where do I move forward from here?

I feel like a projection
From a distant planet
Seeing everything from afar

I'm here
I'm seen
I'm heard

But I'm not felt

And I want to feel

As much as this life can give me
So even though right now I'm far away
Maybe I'll get there, someday

She speaks to me in whispers
Beckoning me to the dawn of the day
Awakening me with her voice
Soft, caressing and dulcet.

She speaks to me in whispers
Her voice present without a body
She floats in the ether
I wonder can anyone else hear her?

She cleared the energy in my space
Banishing malevolent entities
Although I've never seen her face
Her voice is a reality.

She tells me about the minds of others
Thoughts I cannot hear
Between all the psychic clutter
She makes my energy clear.

She says she is a shaman woman
And works with energy
I see her as someone
Who understands me.

my mind is a war zone, my body’s shackled to depression
get to know me if you want to but use your discretion
i’ll push you far away and then i’ll beg for your attention-
i’ll convince us both it’s love though you’re merely a projection.

Within the dark capsule of closed eyes,
the soul seeps its way through,
and one becomes two.

A twisting, intangible face within organic casing,
detached and pulled from physical being,
falling upwards against streams of

watery blue and mossy green,
losing fingers and feet along the way,
failing to grasp at the invisible silvery cord
attached to its belly.

Plunging face first into a pool of cool gray,
Sound dulled by the wet hum of nothingness
flowing through starfilled ears.

Utterly embraced,
Transparent, transcended and weightless.
Floating calm amongst the outer waters of consciousness.
And for a moment, finding itself
free.