i'm always so scared of ruining everything
i think i just need to keep my mouth shut

She says that people don’t listen to her
I hold back my retort that
“She doesn’t listen to others”

She mentions how everyone keeps leaving her
I hold back my retort that
“Maybe if you were more aware of others it’d be easier to stay with you”

Honestly,
It’s more complex than that

To an extent,
I admire
Her ignorance of her surroundings
Those around her

Because,
I’m hyper aware
Too self conscious
Too worried about how others think of me

She’s the opposite
So wrapped up in a cacoon
Of her own problems
She doesn’t notice those around her

But this can also pose problems
A LOT
Of problems
We were best friends in eighth grade
But we grew
And I couldn’t handle
Such a close relationship
With her

I tried to expressly wait for her
Remember her birdthday
She didn’t notice
Or even if she did,
It was never reciprocated

I was talking
She’d respond
Immediately switching
The conversation
To herself

It’s not maliciousness
It’s just plain ignorance

But what can I do?
I’m still friends with her
She’s just not-nowhere near
The top of my list

I can’t go up to her
And tell her this
She’d take it the wrong way

But even then,
Who am I to tell her how to live her life?
I have enough social issues of my own
And she’s fine just the way it is

It’s extremely frustrating
Seeing a problem
But being unable
To do anything
About it

She wants more friends
She has to put in that effort
And I can’t
Be
The
One
To advise her how