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Levi Windolf Apr 2020
I was a dad for today.
But my baby's gone away.
Here for a moment,
Gone in an instant.
Not sad or depressed,
Mad or upset.
Just little bit empty.
Cause I wanted a kid see.

It's been 2 weeks,
Since that first verse.
My emotions have changed,
The tables reversed.
I'm sad and depressed,
I'm a big ******* mess.
I thought I was empty
But I was full of envy.

Envious of those
who have what I lost,
Envious of those
who have been better off.
Convincing myself
That the **** I was feeling,
Should be pushed to the back
Instead of just dealing.

I've lost too many,
I've been through this enough.
Just give me a break for one ******* day.
Daniel, Simon, Jazmyn, Tink,
Ray, Maddie and now my child.
Why me? Why this? Why now?
Can't you see I'm already down
Down in that hole with no escape.

The only escape to change my fate.
Change the rules it's not too late.
I keep pushing it down
But I should be raising it up.
Giving it to people and sharing my emotions.
There's no magic cure
There's no ******* potions.
It's **** and it's hard
But you just have to focus.

On the good in your life.
The beautiful people.
Katie, Justin, Milly, The cats
Tony, Hayley, Mum, Dad and the rest.
They are here, they haven't gone.
Stop clinging to what you had
And accept what you have.
How selfish to think.
It's all about me.

So I'm sorry to you all.
For not doing my best.
For letting my head be such a mess.
I'm trying I really am.
But this whole life just feels like a scam.
I'll be okay, just like always.
But somethings different nowadays.
Something broke and I don't know how to fix it.
I'm sorry.
My wife was pregnant, before all this COVID-19 ****. 2 weeks ago she miscarried. These have been some of the most painful and difficult times of our lives.
Levi Windolf Feb 2019
The tranquility one finds
On the road to sustainability.
Is the food the soul requires
To journey through eternity

A soul that is tormented and anguished
By the expectations of a reality
That barely does enough to maintain
The sanity of its humanity.

Is a soul that is stuck in the routine
Of a life lived dreaming a dream.
And never quite seeing any signs of relief
From the constant need to eat, work, sleep

But if one allows oneself
The opportunity to embrace our unity
Then the mundane society controlled by psychiatry
Falls away in a beautiful cascade of pain washed away.

As you finally face your place in this race
To get to a top that never seems to stop
And you finally see that the top they mean
Is the spot that let's you control the 'free'

But if you decide to be free and be like me
Then make a decision and start the dream
Don't talk of tomorrow because it's time that you borrow from the Today that is, and always has been,
The perfect day for your life to change.
Levi Windolf Jan 2019
I met a friend today,
Her soul array.
I felt her dismay,
While miles away.
But something experienced
That guided my sight,
Led me to ask
If she was alright.

I can't quite explain it,
I can't quite describe it,
But some greater spirit,
Needed to speak,
To this ******* the street.
So out of hope
And at the end of her rope,
Someone struggling with no way to cope.

So I heard her story,
I felt her pain,
And in all my life,
I've never seen such rain.
So I'm trying to help her,
Because she's needing a change.
She's stuck in a cycle,
Of nothing but pain.

If you are lost,
If your soul needs guidance.
Send out a message,
And the stars will find it.
The stars will connect you,
To those who can help you.
So take their help,
Do it for yourself.
If you are in Australia and you or anyone you know needs help with anything, go to this website, https://askizzy.org.au it will guide you to places that can help. If you or someone you know are in serious need of help, call life line on 13 11 14.
Levi Windolf Dec 2018
A sack full of bones;
Tryna find a home.
Wandering in a wasteland,
Of coffee and drones.
Searching for answers
To questions unheard
Waiting for the person
Who stands out in the herd

But I've found my someone
I'm no longer searching.
It's my role now,
To help those still lurking.
In the shadows
Where they're hiding their hurting.
To come to a place,
Where hurting is learning.

Because you can't help others
Until you help yourself.
You can't love others,
Till you love yourself.
And you'll never find comfort,
While pretending to have it
Cause the beginning of healing
Is the choice to start feeling.

And I've found my someone
I'm no longer hurting
I've accepted myself
Through the love of another
Cause medicine like demazin
Takes care of all the physical
But loving one other
Is a cure like no other

So don't give up
Your life has meaning
There is more you can see
You can break through the ceiling
You can make a difference
And perhaps in the distance
A beautiful person
Will see that you're worth it

You'll find your someone.
It's a process of learning
And as time goes by
You'll slowly stop yearning
As memories from the past
Become less disconcerning
Cause you'll find your bones
And then you'll be home.
Levi Windolf Nov 2018
Enough is enough,
We need to be tough.
We need to make changes,
Society's endangered.
Seven billion people,
Still not socially equal.
Our delusions of Grandeur,
Couldn't get any grander.

We keep building higher,
We keep digging deeper.
But constantly struggle,
To be our neighbors keeper.
We question existence,
And give 'god' our assistance.
Never mind our brothers,
And sisters that missed us.

Our money is ours,
We put in the hours.
We don't feel responsible,
To help those uncomfortable.
So we keep it and save it,
And buy all this *******.
To hear people whisper,
"Their life looks so simple"

But it's not really simple,
It's all just a ruse.
The worlds just a system,
Of covered up abuse.
So keep making money,
Keep ******* running.
Its not really funny,
When the worlds in a noose.
Levi Windolf Nov 2018
So many ways,
To count the days.
As they pass the array
Of eternal decay
Because as humans we play
And don't care how it sways
The environmental shame
That we take to our graves
As the sun burns our names
Into the crust of our ways
Our planet will be,
Forever displayed.
As a warning to save
The others who came
That if you neglect
This IS the affect
A planet of rust.
When our bones
Have turned to dust.
Levi Windolf Nov 2018
Everything grayscale,
As you reach for the pale ale;
To numb the sadness,
To escape the madness;
That's seething inside,
Aways gone pride;
All you're left with is guilt,
A stomach full of silt.

But no you're okay,
Well, that's what you say;
When the people that care,
Pull up a chair;
And try to 'invade',
Your moral decay;
You get so defensive,
When they're jumping your fences.

Running for yards,
Livings so hard;
You've been dealt ****** cards,
And your heart feels like lard;
Why should I stay?
The thought my mind plays;
Staring into darkness,
The thoughts at their harshest.

It's so hard to rise,
My minds crumbling demise;
A hand reaches out,
And capsises my pout;
Sends warmth through my body,
Like a hearth in a study;
And in a moment of healing,
I finally start feeling.
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