Through the dullness of my senses
I pause and wait a moment
for you to rise up
and pierce my soul
with your  love

... still waiting...

I needed a heart and my kind mother gave me one, while caring me on her shoulders through the midnight light, telling me to be brave and that it will serve me well.

I believed with her heart resting in my chest I'll never feel pain, but the pain is there up to now burning grief and regret. I am questioning in tears “Is this pain born from love, or is this love born from pain?”

How can I know?
When I am the child that took Mother’s heart and departed for the promised land without looking back at the baskets of black grapes we picked in our vineyard before me leaving, Mother’s hands squeezing the grapes all alone making the red wine that was served with everyone, but me, at her funeral.
She did the impossible to protect me from grieving. Right now, I wish I can find something I could blame her for.

Mother, you gave me your heart,
I never had so much patience.
it serves me well.

Hope nowadays resembles the wind.

One second people have it,

And the next it’s gone like the wind.

When an obstacle greater than you presents itself and stares you down.

Don’t coward away and forget about hope.

Being obedient to retaining hope pays;

People who are obedient,
Who remain faithful,
Who hold onto hope without hesitation,

Will see obstacles,
No matter how great or small,
be conquered by the divine.

You see when an obstacle seems too big for you, or too complicated and the how just won’t present itself .. it’s because you’re not supposed to be fighting that battle.

It’s God’s battle.

Give him his FIGHT BACK!

He called and asked to have his fight back.

He wants you to return it.

Give it BACK,
Let go and Let God.

Everything happens in divine timing.

Don’t let your hope dissolve,

Don’t let hope escape from your grasp like the wind, instead hold onto it with both hands and stand witness to how OUR God will conquer the fight.

Because he is the king of kings,
There is no obstacle greater than him
And he will succeed.