They love you more than they love themselves
They only want what's best for you
They treat you with respect
But toughen you when it's required to
They stress you not because they're punishing you
But because they're worried about you
They sometimes spoil you
Because they love to see you smile
They feed you a meal x3 a day
And buy you your favorite chocolate milk
Which makes you happy to hangout with them
Instead of being with your friends playing video games

But now things changed

You're all grown up
Fussing and screaming all day
Because you don't want to do your homework
You want to play outside with your mates
The moment you walkout from the front door of your home
You're invisible and uncontrollable
With no curfew. You're always late

But things have changed

All of a sudden you're an old man
With a wife, 3 kids and a dog
It's all heavy on your shoulders
Lifting all the weight
Struggling with your work
And then coming back home
To your wife and 3 kids
But it isn't all that great
Cause they constantly cause problems
And dont appreciate your sweat
And that's when you remember
All the days you spent
Being arrogant, selfish and stubborn to your parents
How you raised their heart rate
And raised your voice on them to the highest level
As if you were special
And now you ask yourself "how didn't I notice?"
You were too blind to see
Too cold to feel and
Too deaf to hear
All the struggle your parents went through

But things are now stable

*Wasn't it all worth the wait.

There are times when the pain is too much.
There are times when we would do anything for a way out.
When we would drown ourselves
in the middle of a drought just so we
wouldn't have to be thirsty again.
We sometimes have to remind ourselves
that we are not alone.
Not yet.

There are times when I bet my soul on three lies told.
And even though I won,
I was payed back in fool's gold.
We grow up never thinking that 'up' means old.
We are not alone
and our paths have been walked before.
What is left in store for us
as we ride this tour bus to hell
is the burnt-out car frames of those
who didn't do quite as well

Father Time continues to soldier ever forth
and sometimes what we want is south
and what we need is north.
But I'm telling you that if you think
that you are the first, you are not.
You came from the smallest dot and now
you are a monument to those who came before.
You are a masterpiece created beyond compare,
built in the image of those who's blood you share.
Those who care in a way no one else ever will.

So next time you are in pain, remember,
you are not a waste.
You are an imprint left by two people
that will one day longer be here.
As the seasons change, realize,
there will soon be a year when
our fathers will die.
When we will be made to walk on our own
without knowing why.

So when the ground starts to eat at you,
pulling you down with a force so strong
that you don't even try to fight it,
let your monuments stand and know that they are not alone.
Because we all must return to the earth,
in one form or another.
So honor them while you still have them,
be they your Father
or your Mother.

She can make you feel secure, safe,
She can make you feel empowered, brave,
She can make you feel like you can do anything and everything.

To the point that 'fear' does not exist in your vocabulary,
You, the greatest person to be walking on the face of this earth,
Just by an embrace, a few words of assurance,
That's what she can do,
What she does best,
The effect she can have,
And only she.

Your mother.

Dear Precious,

Mommy loves you.

You are the complete adoration of my selfless soul. What joy and learning experience it will be to watch you grow!

You aren't even here yet, but I know you are patiently waiting to come through. Funny thing you may want to know; your mommy is patiently waiting too!

I pray to God He gives me the tools I need to be the perfect mother. That I can truly provide you with the world you deserve, and to make you the greatest King or Queen you were born to be.

I will teach you about loss and I will teach you about love. I will show you the beauty in lillies and the purity of a dove. I will introduce you to adventures and the rising of the sun, and I will teach you how to capture fire flies when the day is done.

I will do my best to help you understand pain, and show you that even a rainbow cannot exist without rain. You will know the gift of a father and will know the love of a much higher power.

My precious soul child you, I will do everything in my power to love, honor, and rightfully protect you. So do not be afraid to come down to this silly earth, there is far too much to see.  Come down for a visit and be with me.

You will understand one day what it is to be in my shoes, and I will always be at your side, whether in physical or spiritual form, to guide you.

My precious soul child wherever you may be, I will always be waiting.

Love You Forever,
Mom

Granddad I know you are deceased
But I have some remembrance that needs to be released
I know you are looking down on me from Heaven
I still remember your words even at seven
You had encouraged me from the time of my birth
You taught me new skills for what they would be worth
All this you did before you left this earth
You made me practice typing for 4 hours a day
Then you told me up the ladder this way
It was those inspiring words you used to say
In some way, my day would always be ok
I also remember you stating, “Chose a word from the dictionary and incorporate in my vocabulary”
You wanted be to an intellectual solidarity
Your inspiration was for me to achieve
Higher education you wanted me to receive
Your words to try
Start thinking from I
Your vision of me as a commodity
Involvement in business with society
Your persuasion for me to explore
This was in case if I wasn’t sure
I continue to remember you always in the now
It was your teachings in showing me how
You are looking down on me and feeling proud
Time has a base that is simply allowed
Granddad your wisdom being next to none
But you will always be my number one.

Sometimes I forget
The abuse.
Sometimes even the
Pain begins to fade.
But then I remember-
Knocking on my door at 9.45
On a Saturday night
Isn't normal
When I haven't seen you in 3 years.

and the adrenaline rushes
and my heart is hammering
and the fear flows through my veins.
and i turn the TV up
and I pretend I can't hear you
and I cry silently.

Sometimes I think that I can
Move on.
Sometimes the barrier
Begins to fade.
But then I remember-
Parking outside my school
For a week
Isn't normal
When you don't even know my age.

and the adrenaline rushes
and my heart is hammering
and the fear rushes through my veins.
and my escape plan is ready
and I won't walk alone
and I try to hide in the crowd.

Sometimes I think you've
Finally died.
Sometimes the fear
Begins to fade.
But then I remember-
Offering holidays just to me
And not your other daughter
Isn't normal
When we both chose to leave your life.

and the adrenaline rushes
and my heart is hammering
and the fear rushes through my veins.
and my head is spinning
and I change my number
and I block you.

Sometimes the PTSD
Is gone.
Sometimes my childhood
Is rescued.
But then I remember-
A 30 mile bike ride
With no food or water
Isn't normal
When you're only 10 years old.

*and the adrenaline rushes
and my heart is hammering
and the fear rushes through my veins.
and the insomnia takes hold
and I can't open my front door
and if you could get in you would.

Carefree my life
Hides emptiness
Internal strife
Longs to profess
Denied by fate
Love incarnate
Expecting now?
Son or daughter
Someday maybe?