i didn’t fall in love with you.
i fell in love
with your potential
to be
what i thought i needed
at the time.

How can you be you?
When nobody wants you.
How can you live in true?
When everybody thinks everything about you is untrue.
How can everything be okay?
When everything is in grey.

...for real?



(sonnet #MMMMMMMCMXXVI)


I wish he'd dream of me tonight.  Like's thence
Not so imposs'ble that we'd meet t'avail
Ourselve of fun.  O me!  How many (pale
As lo, a crush is't?) times have I fr'intents
Liked one guy or another?  All's pretense.
I canna win.  He's tall.  He did not fail
To notice that I liked him, and for bail
Walk thus with me.  But I tripped...sans defense.
Why am I never good enough, 'cept fer
The scoundrels?  Or how fix me til I do
Not trip when you draw closer?  Flirt?!  In poor
'Scuse I liked him before, alas, I knew
What I was doing.  One look, yes'd, bestir
My heart in just a blink.  I wish he'd woo.

30Apr19d

Tuesday in a nutshell, the week, for that matter.



(sonnet #MMMMMMMCMXXIV)


Rain dances on vast puddles with a sense
Of that delicious wetness, where in pale
Excuse I maunt find one spare minute's bail
To steal a chance out where it'd whisper thence
Fair secrets to the listning few.  Note hence
That lightning flashes, thunder's deep exhale
In tow, and how my schedule shan't avail
Me of a chance to breathe for aught intents.
No, run, run, run, mair thankful thus in poor
Reply that lo, Thy mercies are e'er new.
And further, that "man does not live [in tour]
By bread alone--" but by Thy Word, while too
Besieged by what would drown me, 'cept for Your
Great lovingkindness...cept, LORD, cuz of You.

30Apr19b

...the sages taught.  



(sonnet #MMMMMMMCMXXII)


Tis all a paltry jest whose sweet pretense
I cherished more than due, although sans bail
Thy Scriptures oer and oer instruct t'avail
My soul to not love aught here; all I'd thence
Laugh 'bout and think t'extole as being fr'intents
Tops, waxing thin in retrospect's detail,
And to the moment's shining face, til frail
Joys mock "...their own presage--" is't lo,from hence?
She wants to go out for um, coffee.  Her
Idea, not mine, when it comes down unto
The point of which cafe.  And that's good too.
But most joe is not worth the price, in poor
'Scuse.  She does not care.  'Nother friend in tour
Will hook me with her cousin, when?  He'll woo?!

29Apr19b

...and I, yes, I cherish rain.  



(sonnet #MMMMMMMCMXXI)


O sweetest rain!  Delicious hours the pale
Eye of this wetness owns!  I note fr'intents
How puddles gaily dance as if a sense
Of that wet kiss half nuzzles me t'avail,
Bounce cuz the sparrows happ'ly cry "all hail!"
Breathe fresh-ground coffee's wafting odours hence
Like just the scent is good enough, and thence
Erm, chatter 'non to Dad, like that owns bail.
...As if I'm still his little girl, yes, her
He took so many pictures of, ere to
Effect sons 'gan to fill the scene in tour--
I talk like jabbring gaily might well do.
And lo, Thy mercies new each morning stir
Our souls to praise Thee.  Rain...and coffee too.

29Apr19a

Roses are red , violets are blue

Look I'm in love again,  
But this time its not you.


-Dream

I am not divine
nor am I earth or you
but I’m not other than these

[Senryu]

I rely upon the smile to deceit
For every person it's a repeat.

They talk to the smile and it replies
While I watch, as they eat the lies.

They compliment and gesture
The mask smiles and responds, so pure.

No one sees the face from under the mask
With the flawless smile seemingly everlast.

It takes a person with the same painted smile so see the darkness behind.
As it brings upon the pain that will make your thoughts rewind.

It takes the same smile to know what has to be done.
To remove each other's mask and say that you have won.

I sit here and re-read what I have written down.
My smile agrees, but with a frown.

I wake up everyday
with an urge that makes my heart run
Gives me the energy to stand up.

Im sorry
Is not you
neither him
is it.

I found real love
in the corner of the street
In the road while I drive
In the smile of a kid
In the songs that my radio plays
In the mirror of my bathroom

I found real love
In the place I never went before
In the moment I never thought
In the song I never heard
and in the person I never met before