Thigh gaps
Twenty laps
Too many naps
I look at an apple & see
60 calories
Help me please
Get me out of this hell hole
I hate playing the "skinny role"
I lost count for today
The calculator in my brain
It's overloaded
I have to stay focused
It can't keep up with me
Maybe I should just stop eating
My hip bones gut out
Unnaturally
My cheek bones are hollow
Deadly
"Looks like you lost weight"
"You're unhealthy"
I'm glad you noticed
But the scale is my worst enemy
And the mirror tells me lies
But I continue to go by
Like a zombie
It's not a game
It's no longer a hobby
It's something very real
And this time it got me
It's dragging me down
Please, somebody stop me!
When my body arches
My backbone protrudes
You can count my ribs
As if they might go through
They're right when they say all I am is
Skin & bones
You should have seen my chart
All my body fat was gone
It dipped down to the lowest line
108 to 82
All those pounds that I had to lose
Just to have the perfect body
But to lose myself in the process
It wasn't worth the upset
That I brought to every one around me
So for this reason they had to stop me
I used to think that doctors were the devil
But I learned that they were saviors
And without them I'd be six feet under
It was hard at first
But eventually the calculator in my head died
And the scale no longer mattered to me
And the mirrors didn't seem to scream at me
My thighs are healthy and exuberant
I no longer run because I have to but for the fun of it
I finally have energy and naps are a thing of the past
Please God I hope this time
It lasts
Because now when I look at an apple
I just see
*an apple
When I was 14 years old I was diagnosed with anorexia nervosa, an eating disorder. In the US, 20 million women and 10 million men suffer from an eating disorder at some time in there life. These include anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, binge eating disorder (BED), and other unspecified eating disorders. For various reasons, some cases are not reported, so the number could be higher. Every 62 minutes at least one person dies from some form of eating disorder. And it currently has the highest mortality rate of any mental illness.
You can make it out of this, this will not control you. Please get help if you suffer from an eating disorder. You are absolutely wonderful just the way you are.
~ANAD (National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders)
