my name
is case sensitive
adriana tamara
is how it’s spelled
sometimes as one word
and sometimes as two
but always as only lowercases

my name
is humbling
as it reminds me
that i am merely
one girl
against the elements
i am merely
one voice
muted by wind

my name
is empowering
she shows me
that my mouth
can never run dry
that my thoughts
can never go dormant

my name
looks small
compared to all of the rest
because i
am small
compared to the world
even in my own perception
i am too little
to know everything
to understand everything

my name
is my teacher
is my guardian
is my keepsake
& when i think i know everything
about poetry, about loving, about people
she humbles me
and i continue to learn

case sensitive
(12.24.2020)
—adrianatamara

Walking our treacherous, money-all path, we have become ruthlessly greedy Breakers; Orphans, left alone, flare up in the night like the richer, richer stars! We know! We must not sell ourselves - nor sell them - and yet in the temptations of trials we fall bribed every day! Can our followers learn from our Fallen Being? If nothing else; how can we be non-compromising!
 
This present-man-long-time benefit-Present Interests-Babel cannot provide a shelter! Day by day, we live as if we are always waiting for unattainable Promises, enticing opportunities: a shattering, sharp shard shatters us every minute! When we give up our dreams, Kid is forced to cry in our souls!
 
Sustainable Life builds itself from more diabolical circles than card games: Each day sacrifices new figures for self-justification on stage, while the camp of the severely depleted prefers to give up the Competition because you can’t trust the legitimacy of affordable Judgments! "Every single moment has a primordial meaning, and many times the fallen Man doesn't even think, 'What if?' - the consequences of your decisions!
 
Sadness woven from moonlight illuminates every desperate larva's face. The tangible admonitions of Being are now the fears of garbage dumps! Through soul-movies, we can see the deepening calvary of our long-successful minutes fluttering.

*******, gutted Age! This is how we live under playable chess games; the witnesses of the fallen flies as diligent camps from today! Information Cyber-cascading brains brainwashed our minds every day but empathy falls to the ashes if Man prefers to be sold to stepmother! A long line of those who want to prosper, exchanging new homelands, want to get out of here: Who has not learned how to prosper, but rather leaves the stage of Calvary!
 
When crossing border lines for a living, they always give up something valuable on their own and leave it behind! Leaning towards each other, friendly hands clasped into themselves often continue like this! How much can diplomatic gestures decide at Europe's table ?! - When can this supersonic electronic age enter a self-evolving stream of purification?
 
Everything s Everyone alone finds pathetic, bribed benefits; while he takes the learnable prosperity from others; he looks overwhelmingly at this time other than a huntable prey! You know: whoever has put his soul as a commodity in the market of compromise can rarely expect Human patronage! Savior Hope can seldom illuminate the superficial face of a man who waders others out of interest every day, but let his selfish greed be maintained!
 
As the bouncing of monotonous nuggets, the End echoes in the bongo earcups; in all finite human respects giving to the True Pearl: rainfires, infinite concentric circles shine and circulate…

From the very beginning, the Silence: Adherent Loyalty to My Selfishness builds the eternal adolescent secrets that have been gripped in me as a boy! Below me heights yawn snarling, above me the fate of Damocles sends its day-learning signs! Safe cover these days, hardly anyone can survive in the shadow of poems! This self-incense sneezing world forces me into something I can't be myself! "I curse with hermitage and I can hardly try to break out of this cage because I couldn't discover someone special!"
 
My bad things have happened that are over and yet they threaten stubborn repetitions - they treat me just like haunting dreams! I wish they would disappear into the darkness of eternal Times, and I would flee to them one by one at night! One by one, capture an unknown atomic bomb — temper and explode ready. A sieve-like, irreplaceable One-Life moves its threads on the verge of eternal questions that can be answered; the petals of our flower existence would still be gently pounded if blown away
 
our flower-body is the ordas-strong wind? Because it is possible that only those who can already see in me the suicidal Calvaries of the Calvary districts, whose fateful eyes are closed, can feel my wounded pain with a Golden Heart! Nirvana sand is thus suffocated daily by a talkative silence who would like to testify if they could still leave! Ingó's demand for existence is already modest, with pearls on his back with the testimony of True Beads

Then it was running harder and harder every day: My heart-stabbing **** knife was already every moment of mortal Immortality even bleeding in me! While the Great Time steered him here and there like the never-to-be Negotiator! Tiny, glued-handed gigolos, trendy jambs, trampled the chances of survival in others as well, until in the end they selfishly sinned! My soul, ready to soar, was forced to be shackled by bound shackles; the consolidation of imagined Friendships could have been mine alone, if I had already given up on the happiness I could find!
 
I would need something beyond an unspeakable need to be able to live with content again, and not just be ashamed of my own guilt! By deliberately contemplating the unexpected traps of Being, it is better to avoid and look back, so that even memories cannot haunt you! A call to morning awakening often lacks a sense of duty; In addition to the basic need for filling bites and the testimony of responsible toddler feet, the exploratory mind also selfishly desires more: It wants to reflect and testify and formulate!
 
My fears, which are so wide, squeeze my throbbing heart in the basket of my chest, and if my dear one could know that even the most mundane tasks often rise to the line of trying trials, he would understand

Because it is involuntary to stop before everything is left unfinished! We can know: It is not the facts that have started that are what usually continue, we can stop if we know we can turn to unknown intersections, we can run into uncertainty! So where can the imagined Future, which we have tried together to build a ****** hand here or there, stay? And we ourselves could barely notice the serious intentions that have been proven behind the volunteer's hidden emotions…
 
Thus it may have begun that we have slowly been pushed out of the patronage of Samaritan favors, and now we are accustomed to the futile bitterness of the paths of the unknown Ends, rather trampling ourselves aside voluntarily! - Are the consciously determined Beginnings also recurring halves? Isn't the spark of Being discovered just wormwood? The interrupted Silence is silent again; restless visions run through my soul that may be lingering after the Happiness to be found!
 
Can the human ear still listen to the music of banging petals? Invisible hands are kept in Closed-Loneliness, and I still trust in the Word of Promise of My Friends: Protect and Guard! “On my face, like on the trunks of annual tree trees, I count my wrinkles thoughtfully, intentionally, slowly: Who can see more if you flirt with me wolf-eyed? There was a time when we dared to marvel at this sanda world with everlasting child spirits!
 
I don't ask for a part of self-world fools that I can buy for myself! Is the selfish mode just deceived enough to just make a living for yourself? While this Age of Age looks back at us with a mocking smile ?!

When the Hangman Time opens over our lives; we raise our inverted palms to the sky! Wounded sunset flies in our eyes alive! For the Great Crossing - perhaps - everything is given, only we are more hesitantly half-nailed, unprepared! We can only rush towards the liberated Nothing with reservations! "The congested waves of this Being are ready to clash over our heads again - we can hardly cling to the created soul around us!"
 
There are still days of crypt when the gaping gaps beneath our feet rise with open mouths with their half-nasty-pathetic Will: "Jump down!" "And we're just wasting Death-frozen in one place, because the excited adrenaline isn't enough for us to accomplish the Deed!" The silent Infinite can only be felt by one who stops in Time himself and wakes him up with a wolf's eye and a karakan!
 
Their intent is consciously hidden by these faces today: A possible antidote to their vulnerability is conscious concealment! What can we expect from the Orv-World, which breeds these hyenas and also repels free-thinkers ?! Taigetos' careers and insidious teamwork await his unsuspecting victim like this!
 
Because there will always be craftsmen who are one way or another - but they try to cheat in disguise and enjoy their universal greatness and succeed! “Words are spelled from afflicted lips while they don’t even know the best antidote to aggravated sadness: Sincere Friendship

Among the fragility ruins of my soul, I still keep curious melodies, to see if there will be anyone else who will listen and think: if you have hurt Someone in the self of falling mirror tiles, how will you comfort the fall ?! In the promises of nowhere opportunities, I am disappointed daily: Were there any at all who considered the keeping of the Promise at all?!
 
Story has broken down into facts, yet it has finally been licked with ugly ends! In my final desperation, despair often sticks to the "how to proceed" - executioner's rope! If the extended Silence explodes in me: I will divide myself between the gaps of fear and reason! Who else, with their eyes closed, can discover the true Truths of petal falls that experience Truth?
 
Is the Continuous Rich Word Falling into a Memory Appearance? I will also turn the other half of my smiling face over if Someone else wants to know me! So be vigilant “they” out there so that they don’t exclude the witness from their souls! I still confess to myself the familiar Deficiency: Well, let's see! What would you do differently? Self-inflicted curiosity, however, is still pursuing; my exploratory consciousness is paving the way for itself, trying to be independent of self-defeating remarks,
 
blade-sharp, crumbling criticism! My awake researching attention captures the fulcrum built around me! Failed failures could continue to be a pity! - The blocked waves of this present existence are ready to clash over my head again; everything will leave me all around if I have to fight and fight with myself!

At the top of shard puddles, a tiny tear-bubble pops dancing: it mourns itself in a spherical shape! In my wounded past, the soul-stimulating shower has punished me as well! I can only be a melancholy flame swaying in struggling winds; resistant to wolf laws even with konok faith! An ominous conjecture warns me of the signs of danger around me - while an unstoppable, barking stream in my soul carves out its still deepening pit beds from wounds!
 
Rock the Known Being Swing! He reveals his lattice chains before me; attracts a taming that can be tamed as a magnet! I can confidently cling to pearl twigs if I can listen to their knocking glass sound game! In me, even inciting-rebellious voices burst to the surface and guard their Fears of Hassias! "My inner infinity may still help me rebuild the diverse Jelen pieces!" We should revisit the speech of Eyes in soul movies so that we can understand each other's One-wavelength thoughts with a mere presence, even without sounds!
 
I wander in disembodied Silence and wait! "As the dance of clouds of tears falls from the sincere eyes of my shower, the soundless gems of the pursued Soul look like fat diamonds, what am I also wasting for other People in turning moments!" With his inner vibrations, the former eternal Child who I am today is back and forth: the secrets of the ages are etched in the stumbling trenches of my face