The more mistake,
The more the guilt,
Bit by bit, slowly built,
Can hardly intake.

~A.d |8 Dec 2014

Always on your mind
no matter where you are
your mistakes are always with you
never forgotten
lingering in the back of your mind
reminders of failure

मिथिस्लाबै गुमुरजोँ
नेवसिलांनाया गोसोजोँ
जायाखै सिखाव गोरबो-
गोसोनि;
सिखावआ आंसो-
गावनि खालामनो मिजिँजोँ
हास्थायखोमानाया गोरबोजोँ।

Baby clothes
With baby toys
Doctor says
   It's a boy!

Baby clothes
Little shoes
So very happy
Gateful news

Baby drama
Full of love
A baby boy
They dreamed of

It's Bryan ?
That's my name?
But I was born?
what a shame
      
It's a girl

i layed in my room on my bed,
i only wished to die in my sleep
fallen appart,i was nearly dead
cause of a promisse i didn't keep.

i couldn't eat i couldn't talk,
i was hunted by my past,
barely having stenght to walk,
i've put my all to the test.

i couldn't smile with pain in my chests,
then came fears, i became paranoid,
followed by the darkest fleshbacks,
until the gap in heart became a void.

i fell as low as person can fall,
there was only up i could go,
missed the death, had to crawl,
decided never to let myself fall so low.

it's been a year i'm alright,
i still recover,my heart needs some rest,
i know my strenght and learning to fight,
a crule deamon called ''my past''.

Innocent,
No,
Not since,
I realised.

Child,
No,
Never really,
I know now.

I,
Can never lose,
That part of me,
I understand.

Wish,
No,
Dream of waking from this,
Accepted truth.

I,
Am too late,
To stop myself from hating,
It makes sense.

Could,
Anything,
Be worse than this?
I guess it can.

Be,
Myself?
Never again,
Get it?

Again,
I look at myself,
And see a monster,
But I never knew.

Until it was too late.