The sound of a
Still-cast moon
Hovering
Silent
In the dwell-

The gentleness
Of piano keys
Rubbing the pads
Of your finger tips
In an empty,
Lonely room

The wind chime
In your voice
Tinking with laughter
And a smile
Conjuring pride
Telling tales
Of your daughter

The crinkle in your
Hands
Holding,
Protecting
My ignorant
Little heart
As time
Ticked on
And on
Like the beat
Of a steady drum.

How a
Broken heart
Is not a saying
But the sensation
Of falling
Like a splitting
Desperation and
Despair in
Your chest.
When a burning light
Dissipates into
Ash
And smoke.
Suffocating.

Being left alone
By loneliness itself
And missing what
It feels like
To feel whole.

To be in a world
Without you
Is something
I know well
But is what
I wish
I've never known.

I miss how you used to laugh
And inspired everyone else to do the same.
I miss your fearlessness.  Your curiosity.
I miss how much you loved
to run and play games.
I miss a lot of things.
But what I miss the most is how pure you were.
Like the light from the midnight moon.
You were gone too soon, Innocence.

Today it would’ve been your birthday.
I would’ve made a handmade card for you as always
signed with a “love you” phrase and painted bouquets
together with some real tulips.
It would’ve been a perfect day.

But it is not the same this year,
I am alone and you’re not there.
God had another plan.

You taught me to be brave
and faced with trouble never to complain.
Even while fighting so much pain
you were a rainbow after rain.
You taught me on a stormy day to be a wave.

But it is not the same this year,
I am alone and you’re not there.
And out of habit I have made your card.

I’ll kiss whoever I’m with tonight
to take you off of my mind.
It’s not the first time
that I’m fighting to keep you out,
but I don't wanna close my eyes.
In the dark you’re all that I see.
He’s laying in my bed but I'm staring at the ceiling, reminiscing you.

I’ll make out with three strangers tonight.
None of them will make it back to my room
but if they did it still wouldn’t matter,
I just don't wanna be alone at times.
Need to feel someone else on me,
so I can stop feeling you,
so I can forget you.

Cause I’d run to you
even if you were just a mirage.
And I’d follow you,
Through a desert.
Through a blizzard.
Through the eye of a hurricane.
I’d run to you!

and it’s been six months,
we still haven't talked.
I don't know anything!
I miss being your everything.
Tonight I’m all alone,
no one touching me, I’m on my own.
I tried the hook-up thing but couldn’t keep pretending.
When I look in their eyes I just see yours, blue and green.
Where did you go?
Why’d you stop loving me?

It doesn’t matter
If I never get an answer.
If you hit me up one day
I’ll still remember your voice,
but I’ll also remember
how pathetic you made me feel.
Alone even when we were together,
looking back is bittersweet.
Fond memories and love,
welled up fears and disappointment.
I’ll always remember you, love.
But I won’t go running back,
even if I want to,
I won’t go running back.

but I hope that you do
I hope you’d run back to me too.