The blood drips--
Warm but cold.
Nothing changes--
The feeling is old.
Quiet sobs--
Come from my room.
This unsettling addiction--
Will be my doom.

I've been gone for a while
Not seen or heard
Hiding away from the harsh reality of life
I've tried to get involved and I've tried my best
But every time I try I only feel stressed
I'd love to be able to stay inside
Away from the pain and away from the sound of others bleeding my ears
Do this
Do that
You're doing it wrong
Try again
Yet every time I try I feel like a part of me is dying inside
I want to be free and I want to be me
But when I am true you say you hate what I have become
So what is it that you truly want?
Because each time I ask you, you simply look me in the eyes and say "I want you to get better"

Time has passed, and you’d think I’d be over it by now,
But I still blast music in the shower to drown the memories out.
Can’t stand to be clean, but I don’t want to be *****.
Healing’s been so slow, and I am in a hurry,
Trying to feel like a whole human being
Find the places on my body that you haven’t been.
This landscape’s all mountains to climb when I long for the valleys
Of hips, knees, and skin that don’t feel like dark alleys.
I wear these scars like armor, but they don’t protect me from myself
Try to box up your images and put them on a shelf.
I lay awake at night alone in the dark
With visions of the marks you left- your own kind of art.
Telling myself I wouldn’t wish it on my friends,
Thinking in the quiet spaces the name that I would give,
And it’s hard to think about how used and empty that I feel
When I remember your literal blades made of steal.
You could always take what you wanted
Knew how to override a “No” leaving me feeling haunted.
I don’t feel safe at night when I go to sleep
Because even when I was unconscious, you couldn’t keep your hands off of me.
I shudder to think what kind of man you think you are
You said everyone was out to get you as if you weren’t the one leaving marks.
I struggle to tell my story out of embarrassment and shame
Am I just a product of your own twisted game?
I’d like to think someday the nightmares will be few and far between,
And my body won’t feel so much like a crime scene.
Until that day comes I keep it all locked inside,
Trying to lay down my weapons because I’m tired of the fight

My wounds runs deep
Steeped in time
Memories to keep
Into my prime

Testing my virtues
Taking a deep breath
Walking in my earth shoes
Feeling like ego death

I must stay focused
On what I desire
Despite this fire
Thoughts like a swarm of locusts

Time to embrace the new
That being with you
I refuse to be static
Time with you is chromatic

It's a complete headliner

With you it's all about the major and the minor

The feeling of life is flowing out of my soul.
I can feel it leave my fingertips.
My knees buckle under stress.
I express my pain in dreadful tears streaming down my swollen face.
I fall into position that has become unmovable.

Every inch of my bruised riddled body aches.
Air beginning to swiftly embrace my trembled breathing.
I surrender into its loving arms.
Swallowed whole from its loving touch.

The lifeless body I once knew,
Struggling through the cracked corridor,
Gains a heaviness to which I tremble,
Gazing around the gloominess before me,

When suddenly,
A light is bestowed onto me.  
Granting the wishes I once had.
Heaviness lifted from my shoulders
Regaining my balance,
Moving through the sudden brightness.

Embracing the feelings I once knew,
Longing for the touch of something new,
Once I open my eyes,
I attempt concur the light.

Reminded of the ghastly past,
I embark a new adventure.
Regaining love, strength, empowerment.
Devoted to life like never before.
For I was once broken,
For now, I have awoken.

tick tock
says the clock...
tick tock
as the clock marks the passing seconds, the passing hours...
as it ticks away and the time flies by before my eyes, streaks of colors dance with the constant
tick tock
of the clock...
tick tock
sings the clock...
the clock hanging from the wall, looking over me as it ticks away the time, sneering and ticking and taunting and tocking and the constant
tick tock
tick tock
tells the clock...
as it's hands move round and round and round, passing by each number, ticking away the time...
my time is leaving me behind,
leaving me behind with the constant
tick tock
from the clock...
tick tock
tick tock
the constant
tick and tock
from that stupid clock...
ticking away my time,
tocking away my clarity,
ticking away my sanity,
tocking away my mind,
tick tock tick tock tick
goes the clock...
I look up at the stupid clock, it's tick tocking clock face mocking me
tick
tock
goes the clock...
as I slowly raise my gun to my head,
tick tock
tick tock
as I place my finger on the trigger,
tick
tock
tick
tock
click

my emotions dread for peace
this space is so tight
I seem lifeless

why prickly numb and burning
are my toes writing a story
spare me a niddle to escape

For my fears are dead
Today I question life
Now I got my answer

Live today
Live today
Live today

(c) Olu Daniels -KUVAR