I hold a pen
              It’s yours
It won’t write for me
Suit my hand
My words
My mood
Even if it did
                 I think memory
              Is best left within
Rather than releasing ink
That’s beyond written expression

I remember loving you on a sunny day
Roses and Kisses
You said I’d never get away
But somehow things began to slip away
Will you still listen?
To one more thing I want to say

I just want to see you one more time
Feel the warmth of your hand in mine
Taste your ruby lips of wine
Will you stand here by my side?
Pledge you’ll never say goodbye
Love me ‘till the end of time
My metaphor love

I remember long walks in the night
Holding you closely
Kissing you under the moonlight
Everything back then was so special to me
Life was so simple
Take me back to yesterday

I just want to see you one more time
Feel the warmth of your hand in mine
Taste your ruby lips of wine
Will you stand here by my side?
Pledge you’ll never say goodbye
Love me ‘till the end of time
My metaphor love

it smells like the smoke of a barbecue in my grandparents' backyard,
the perfume my brother pretended to be allergic to so i wouldn't buy it,
the kitchen before christmas dinner

it tastes like the pumpkin and feta bread my mother used to make,
the blackberries from my grandmother's tree,
the fish and chips on saturdays

it sounds like all the dumb youtube videos,
the songs blasted on the small cd player on the desk,
the conversations that blend together over dinner

it looks like the rollerblades with a broken strap,
the overgrown garden we could get lost in,
the playground with the train

it feels like collapsing on the couch after marathoning the one just dance song we know off by heart,
like laughing until our chests ache and crying until the same,
like looking back and wishing i still knew all these things

the girl
gauzy dress
tattered and torn
burning
breathless through brambles
reaching a river
pursued
panting
she must cross it
take a step into
freezing water
numbing bones
shaking shivering
pale skin and blue lips
trip
and
fall
hands fall forwards
trying to catch
whatever is left of yourself
but pieces crumble and scatter
on mossy rocks
sharper than they
look
howling dogs and
snarling men
filthy
hunting
they will be here soon
so get up
because there is no more time
to lie here
and wish you are not
the girl
who was maybe once loved
face down
in frigid murky water
the only company in death
those who persecute her
as her pale body
begins to rot
even god
starts to
forget
about her
first
her hands
then
her face
then
her hair
until there is
nothing
left
so that when the dogs
frothing lips
raised fur
and the men
roaring voices
savage thoughts
arrive
the girl is gone
nothing left of her but a
whisper of wind
and the scent of sandalwood
and strawberries
and summer days
long forgotten
but now remembered by those
who never knew them
maybe god didnt forget her
maybe he saved her

I threw my suitcase

into the hole and I jumped --


back into my youth.