Under the cedar

next to my house is a bench --


for new encounters.

Motley
We meet again 6 years on
You see me I see you
Am I the same and are you?
What’s your opinion on that?
Mine is we are all the same
But I want you to tell me

Always on my mind
Always lingering in the shadows
Always appearing in the quietest of moments
Always on my mind
You're always on my mind

I don't know when this has started
I don't know when this will end
I met you once after 5 years of separation
Full acknowledgement of it being one time thing
And yet
You're always on my mind

No contact in months
Yet always on my mind
Always to where I need to look at previous words or profile
Just to get you back into a dark confined corner

What had changed that one time we met?
What switch was flipped?
Afraid I cannot say
For I do not even know myself

I saw some lyrics in a video
"Always on my mind 24/7  365"
The relation to you seems uncanny at this point

Always on my mind
Always haunting me
Always planting seeds
The end?
Who knows...

in our universe, it was always lonely
so full of hate and anger it bore me
our stars were scattered,
but I can see your universe from afar
somehow it aligned, yours and mine

two different universes, we cross
our paths and meet our past
it was you, who was I,
and who you were opened my eye

past meets the present
mot bound to happen but did,
and now we're staring at the
same moon crescent.

you and I are not the same
it was you who was I,
but I am never you, am I?

It was another day at work
filled with pain and hurt
looking for ways to shirk
my responsibilities
because of the loneliness filling me
I wasn't that way willingly
and I saw constant reminders
so I started browsing Grindr
looking for comfort
or at least attraction
to get out of the dumpster
of my own inaction
then I saw you on there
like a solar flare
in which I was ensnared
your beauty had me impaired
so I wanted to take you to my imp lair
sending a message "Hey how's it going?"
and you actually responded
now the onus was on me to be showing
that I wasn't too despondent
so I tried to focus on the conversation
which was actually pretty nice
but then you maximized temptation
by mentioning my favorite vice
asking me if I smoke trees
I responded with ** please
you should come to Kentucky
we'll smoke until there's nothing
then turn into men *******
to which you agreed
and I was relieved
leaving work early
with different thoughts swirling
between love and ***
or a ****** hex
I hope you're not the latter
although I'm just flattered
you'd pitch to this batter
who wanted you so badly
I was willing to gladly
drive to Cincinnati
to take you back to my place
after taking a blunt to the face
this isn't a hunt or a chase
just a request for grace
which I definitely needed
after a cop pulled us over
the speed limit wasn't heeded
and oh yeah we weren't sober
made clear by the ***'s odor
so I was hoping I'd just get a ticket
and then be sent on my merry way
but then you added thorns to the thicket
by mentioning you have a warrant in play
I didn't know what to say
about the likely arrest to be made
and our total time that would wane
the cop approached and asked your name
and that's when I first heard it
Anthony
I didn't think I'd get served it
answering
a cop who would pull you out of my car
and put you away like an old guitar
I had enjoyed our time thus far
but now it seemed like a scar
so I couldn't let it end like that
in the lonely car I sat
waiting for bond to be posted
so I could be hosted
and we could get toasted
I called around for advice
but was only told to slice
that out of my life
which I couldn't accept
so I went down to the jam up jail
I hoped you hadn't left
because that would mean I failed
and could've just slept
never meeting anyone I like
because of the threat of adversity
never trying to figuratively fight
because of the depression hurting me
so I wanted to see you certainly
posting a meager bond
to give the pigs their slop
hoping I'd see the dawn
and the night would stop
they let you out
while I was in
we won our bout
and now could sin
kissing and smoking
after all the hissing and coping
you going missing had woke me
making me feel alive
for a much smoother drive
back to the Ohio side
where we got into bed
exchanging head
you rocked me to sleep
your secrets you can keep
we don't need to talk too deep
I'm just glad you got me to leap
back into my brain
I eagerly await our refrain
but don't want to be a strain
on where this is going
I have no clue
all that's worth knowing
is you erased my blues.

If there is another thing beyond this one I shall meet it

Seeing beyond the futures of tomorrows not yet lived

There is a place I feel it I'll meet you there