I thought I was over you but then you laughed, you laughed and it left butterflies in my chest and me light headed.

Then the dreams came. I had dreams every night that we were dancing, we were dancing in the waves, and in our own adolescence.

But the stares made it worse. They brought back the memories. You spoke about me, you blushed. Your eyes connected with mine and I felt alive. I felt as if my world was shaking but it was okay because I had you there to stabilize me. Just like it used to be.

Although realistically, we're on different sides of the world now and your world is being dominated by a new ally when mine is still unfound. Your hers, to put it simply, and seeing you kiss her instead of me makes me want to *****.

You should be mine.
I could kiss the solar system into your back and write you poetry that will hush you into my arms, I could lure you to sleep with gentle hands and slight bruising but
I guess that's not enough

...but soul mates
you said, reminding me.
I held that closest to my heart.
Every time you asked me
why do you do this to me?
I smiled gently,
because it was mutual.
We couldn't help but love each other.
I remember it.
Every time I saw you
my heart did jumping jacks.
My arms ached
like blood rushing to them
to have you in them,
my head filled with air,
like a balloon
filled with helium
begging you to put your lips to them
and **** the air out of me,
leaving our voices a funny mess
for each other to decipher.
I remember,
the exact way you held me
and whispered to  me
that
"with me nothing can get you,
                          you're safe."*
and I believed you,
but you never told me that love had gotten me.
dragged me deep within your heart,
locked me in there without a key.
left me there to drown in my tears
and listen to the walls of your heart
echo for another girl.

They say that when you know, you know
That it is infinite, limitless
That the world stops, seconds pause
And there's no one there but you

You and him
Him and you
Together

You could say that I'm scared
That I'll always be alone
That it'll never be my time
That nobody will ever feel that way about me

There are others like me
They make excuses for being alone
That they're too young
That they're not allowed

But age doesn't matter
Because when you know, you know
And since I've never known,
It means that much more to me.

My Love,
I wish I knew who you are.
Caitlin