She was a woman of many disguises
with social masks of all shapes and sizes.
Certain groups called for  a different her,
to a point where her true identity became a blur.

Around some, she’d be obnoxious and loud,
but with others, quiet with her head in the clouds.
Around specific friends, she was wild and care free.
Around others, she made choices a bit more cautiously.

She got used to pretending to be someone she’s not
and masks became more comfortable she thought.
But at the end of the day alone in the mirror,
the problem suddenly became a lot clearer.

She changed herself so much to match those around her
that the reflection staring back was a complete stranger.
She cared way too much about the opinion of others
and her people pleasing nature made her feel smothered.

She was scared to open up and let those walls down
in fear of rejection or them not sticking around.  
She was hurt badly by being so vulnerable once
so she closed up her heart and locked it for months.

But things changed in her when she met him
and for some reason, he made her world a little less dim.
He took the feelings of ugliness and unworthiness away
and even after some of her true colors shined, he stayed.

He learned things about her that no one else knew
and the walls crumbled down as he worked his way through.
Slowly, her shell reopened and her inner glow returned
after years of love leaving her feeling tired and burned.

The social chameleon in her is now dead, buried, and full of rot.
She loves herself now, inside and out, whether others do or not.

She is reminded she isn't good enough everyday.
"You can't do by yourself, you need a man," they say.
No one tells her she is beautiful just the way she is.
No one tells her that she belongs to herself, she is not 'his'.
She is taught to hate her body by them.
She is told how unworthy she is by them.
No one tells her about the fierce fire burning in her heart.
That she too could be someone's glowing light in the dark.
No, she is only told how she needs to change.
She is overlooked and underappreciated at every stage.
So she just writes her story down.
As a reminder of who she was before she let her real self drown.

Don't you see just how beautiful you really are?
You are like a sky full of the brightest stars.
Your freckles you try so hard to cover all the time.
Only make me wish you were mine.
The curvy figure that makes you worry.
Only makes me like you more, I'm not sorry.
You are not pretty enough you feel.
But somehow yet my heart you always seem to steal.
You don't need the makeup to hide.
I see how even those smiling pretty eyes have cried.
You don't like yourself the way you are.
But you make a spark light up in my heart.
They make you feel worse about yourself everyday.
But it's your choice, so do it your way.
Don't care about them.
Be yourself, my precious little gem.
Be you and don't think of what they'll say.
I promise I'll love you all the way.

Self love is a war,
Except you are on both sides.
Everyday a different battle,
Like the changing of the tides.
Your mind tells your heart
“You are not what you seem”
Never a small bit of satisfaction,
Never truly clean.
You must learn
You are what you make yourself
The lesson is to
Love yourself
Speak yourself

Check the mirror
And see for yourself
The image you see
Maybe different from ours

You may see scars
But we see beauty
You may notice the indifferences
But we can’t t deny the perfect curves

You might have appreciated the beauty of others
But how we wish you see the angle from ours
Though sometimes you wish to have their features
Know that we certainly wish we had some of yours!

One year later, I'm still where you left me.
Tired, undone and unfinished.
Untangling the knots
Of disappointment.

Two years later, I'm halfway there,
Still holding on,
To the promises you made.
Nearly forgetting,
You were never there.

Three years gone,
There's love for me to feed on.
Roughly recollecting the sense
Of your touch.

Four years lost,
There's so much I've gained.
Strength and happiness,
Unduly maintained.

Five years remained,
I've lost count now.

Too busy enumerating,
Favours of people
Who've loved me,
helped me,
And embraced me.

Tell me,
What won?
What gave in?