And I don’t,
quite understand.
Was it something,
I said?
Or maybe,
something,
I did?
Maybe,
you just,
signed out,
and decided,
to quit.
But you,
don’t read,
my messages,
anymore.
And that makes,
me sad,
not enough,
to cry,
but just enough,
for heartache,
to pry.
I wanted to,
let you know,
that I miss,
my player two.
Maybe you’ll,
decide to,
read this,
just remember,
to mark it,
unread,
I promise,
I’ll never,
notice.

Thousands of slaves of The Saviour run
bent over to a place to sit, belly to buttock
nose in the back, sections full of light pink
shoulders under the violet
shaved crowns

to open the brain
under sun and moon
to the Great Soul
and to gain self-knowledge
from the mirrors around you

the exchangeable bodies that
under the discipline of loneliness
among silent fellow sufferers
no longer can die
from everyday life's dangers

Everywhere you see yourself
among the hard faces
of armed guards
and you cling to
the changing of the light

the rustle of rain and
scents brought by the wind
"He laughs best who laughs last"
But what kind of laugh is that?
A laugh which is not shared...

A change in the weather
A mirror with an unfamiliar reflection
A winter without snow
A sad song that plays on
It isn't the life I wanted
Clearly not how I imagined
Rallies for joy replaced by hurt and sorrow
How else could I see you
Only time will tell
My mind creates stories
Beautiful memories I'd want to hold
My eyes adore your every move
Sadly that's all I can have
Well you're you, am simply me
Could I be infatuated
I can't be this weak
I fell in love with an imagination
A vision I'd want to keep
If wishes were true, I'd have you through thorns and ash
Pick up the pieces
Create all for mine
I do want you
But I know I can't have you
Guess good things have you messed up
And all you left with is wishing you could have it all back
That's how scary it is when I think about falling for you.

Every time someone leaves me
it feels like they’ve taken a dagger straight to my heart
It isn’t a fast motion but slow and painful
The suffering prolonged.
It isn’t made out of metal, but wood
When it’s pulled out of my body  
Each time, they leave behind pieces of themselves,
splinters
I wonder how many I’ve collected?
Im sure by now I can create a dagger if my own.

There they were…
Lying on the bed, with her head resting below his shoulder, listening to his heart beat, and praying it never stops.
One leg draped over him, as if she was afraid he’d free from her embrace. As though her leg, a restraint, holding him in place, keeping him from leaving.
Her arm resting on his body with her hand on his chest.
There they were…
The safest place she could think of.
Her favorite place to be.
She was with him.
Their love, shielding them from the chaos of the outside world, while she silently worries, that he’ll someday leave.
He notices, and reassures her… he’s here to stay.
“He’s here to stay!” She thinks to herself. She’d finally won the fight against her own mind.
He said it himself! He won’t leave!
She could finally feel at peace.
His reassurance and validation was all she needed to believe.
And just like that, she could finally sleep. See… he made her feel safe.
He said “Let me love and protect you! That is the job I want!”
So she let her walls crumble, opened the door, and she let him step in.
He dusted the cobwebs, and drew back the drapes. He painted the walls and straightened the frames. He fixed the creaky doors and floors, and mended broken shelves. He brought light to the darkness, and color to the grey.
He even bought flowers for the empty vase, that had seen better days.
He just strolled in, and he made it a home suited for two.
He said “no more need for walls” and he put in a sparkling moat. “You’re safe with me, you can rest and unload.”
She didn't yet know, that what she’d need protecting from, was him.
For when he’d rip it all away.
He loves her.
He loved her.
Up until one day…
And there they were.
Both, unaware and unafraid.

I am a fool as they say, because only fools fall in
Love. what should be we, feels like
You. And you are …
Too busy to say it back

© Raffi