My life's work is the wiggling leap
Of a soft little kitten, who lands in a heap.

My life's work is the hyper, swift lick
Of a rambunctious puppy who moves lightning quick.

My life's work is the smile of a friend,
Who I know will be with me till the bitter end.

My life's work is a high GPA;
Perseverance is how I got here today.

My life's work are these words that I write,
And the heartfelt confession, "you saved my life".

My life's work is nowhere near done.
I fell down, I got up, now I'm ready to run.

I have this new light about me
It glistens
I listen
No single memory can stop me
From freeing my feet at night
And driving through my mindscape
Empty
Yet full of color and every
External Sense I could
Imagine to be true
So it must be something real
My images are projected senselessness
Rich and simultaneously void of
Feeling
So touchable this
Ungraspable and malleable palpable void
Exhumes flavor.
I awake unmoved
Having been everywhere presented
I recall half of nothing
And each day goes by
Where I pass places I’ve been
Changed, structured beyond definition
I’ve been there once before
And it was not in this waking life
It’ll have this recognizable feel
Of Complete void demolished
Beyond my ability to comprehend anything
But what I know it to be
In a place where my feet haven’t touched
The ground
And I’m quietly obtaining ability
To create a world outside of my knowledge
Of what is true in
This waking state
I’ve been here once before, and it was different
My senses are not immune to the trickery
So I fall back
Into another dream
And wonder where I’ll go for the first time
That I’ll reunite with tomorrow
Only to find it’s honest form
And I won’t be able to help but smell the air I created just the night before.

I don’t know you like you know yourself
All I know is what you write, because we never really talk, and that’s my problem

It makes me sad to hear that you’ve experienced death in your life
Death is a ***** ***** **** waffle ****
And there’s my **** nonsense of humor

I don’t think you’re crazy like you say
I’ve heard rumors
**** em

I was a fool for thinking anyone could be perfect
I’m sorry for putting you on that pedestal
I realize now that you are, in fact, human and have weaknesses and flaws as such

God, this sounds ridiculous

I want to delete every word of this, and sew the mask of a quiet loner back on my face, and that is exactly why I am posting this. To work to overcome my own biggest fear. Rejection.

Drops of passion trickle down
through the counting-house, it's time
to live, but how?

Shall I travel
to a beautiful story
and conquer that place?

Shall I sail over the seas
of feelings or fly over them
and ponder

where I want to land
where there is a task
for my wishes

and create a space there
that I do not yet know
so that I arrive somewhere

I have not gone to?

Foggy memories
A dream or a nightmare?
Pain and stress...misery.
Whack...Whack!!!!
Give me the pills for the pain....
Hell, I'm a little quack!
I strike hard to make the ball a winning shot.
I sweat hard..giving life ..
all of the remaining strength that I've got.
Down the same old halls...every day.
A gallery of my life.
I smile at the visions.
For I've survived ....
I deserved a name plate...below the art
I survived over every hectic way.

I knew the outside world
from stories: there are forests
and foreigners, mean people too
But always someone comes
to help, and I learned

you can be a hero
It's about the outcome
(the blessed life only starts
  with the happy end)

That's how I grew up
and the world grew along with me
so that my outside world got further
and further away, and I learned

daily life is boring and
it is unfeasible to be a hero
But my little son wants
me to tell something exciting

So I get brews
from the wizards of stories
I stir and boil them up
I let him feast

eager
to be soon grown-up enough
to go into the wide world himself
travelling to the happy end

and I keep silent how far it is
and that it is shifting away
every day, to the future
in which we won't be

rain kissed wing tips dip and dive
claws curled up on the wires
that bind us
ill conceived desires reign a planet
with the tears of another child born
in a cage bound for the stage
Freedom lies in the wings
in that song that the rainbird sings

2007

Mummy mummy mummy. !
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mummy Mummy MUMMY.!!
Look what I have done.
Rhyming moon with June.
Gived me sooo much fun.
I done it on myself.
So does it make me one?
Yes my dear sweet poet
From all that mummy taught you.
Hurry grow up fast
And make yourself a blooming
        FORTUNE.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Written by Philip. 2/11/2018
(Wishful thinking)