Everything you said
you weren’t… you proved.
I fell in love with ideals not you.
You painted a beautiful story,
a beautiful you.

But you weren’t lying to me, no!
You just weren’t accepting
your own truths.

#DoubleMinded
*Timelessessence

I sat on your swing
and I kicked up my feet
You were pushing me softly
with the wind running through my hair
You started to pick up the pace
As I began to let go of the ropes
I trusted you
And the swing broke
And I cried
You sat and watched
for a minute or two
and then asked me to swing again
It's too late for that
Im not a child anymore
and the playground isn't my friend

He knew you were brittle so he broke you.*

After endlessly hitting the fire alarm button, out of panic he successfully destroyed the extinguisher's case. His adrenaline came rushing in as if he were Superman. He knew that you have been protecting that weapon a long time ago. But, he knew more than you do that you must subside for a while so he would try to put out the dangerous flame inside you even if it means breaking you.

I'd wished I never knew you,
so it won't be painful to let you go.

I'd thought I had not found who
the cause of this new found low.

I'd sought the realm of the night
which desecrated my inmost desire.

I found the ray of light
where to move on and release all the spite.

I still wish I never knew you
for me; it's painful to let you go.

because when he tugged my hair and rudely asked why it is the way it is and claimed tugging it will make it straight,
i let him
because when he pulled me into him to tease me about my height,
i let him
i let him and i'll continue to let him
but i shouldn't let myself
both of us cannot afford the other letting ourselves

Sometimes you have to just let go and see what happens.

I was young and I was hurt
Somehow you swept me off my feet
There was something about your golden eyes
And the way you wanted me

I was infatuated with you
I feel in love too deep
To the point where I was below the tide
Without you I couldn't breathe

Then one day I was hurt again
By yet another lover
But this time was different than before
Because this time I didn't recover

This time it broke my spirit
And this time changed my perception towards love
This time your apologies and promises
Would never be enough

I tried to move past it
Believe me, I wanted to move on
But something about you still in my life
Felt so desperately wrong

Your love for me has grown
And you are a better man today
But despite all of your new found qualities
Those memories and that hurt still remain

You take my hand and all you ask
Is that I try to love you in return
But I can't bring myself to agree
To say 'I love you' nearly burns

This aching in my heart
Causes a throbbing in my head
I contemplate and argue with myself
I want to live with you, but you make me feel dead

My body is living, I am here
Trying to feel things I did once
Fighting with myself against these
Demons that replaced my love

I don't know if this is a battle
Worth fighting anymore
I've been trying to push you away
But you stay and I don't know what for

I say things and I hurt you
Like cannons in a war
But you continue to stand there
And you lay down your sword

You try to get closer to me
You ignore these land mines I lay down
All of my tactics and all of my walls
Do not prevent you from gaining ground

And in a sense I hate myself
For allowing you to stay
Knowing how much I hurt you
And letting you live this way