My logic keeps pointing to all that doesn't make sense.  
Yet, I listen to my heart and its weak, jumbled defense.  

I cling to frayed memories from the past,  
Replaying stories that weren't meant to last.  
I yearn for what never reflected my worth.  
Leaving me anxious and dimming my mirth.  

What I need is a big old box to bury pieces from the past.  
Say gratitude for the pain and growth that it brought.  
Then hurl it as far away as my arms can cast.  
Enjoy the weight lifted, a sense of relief at last.

I ease myself into the uncomfortable.

i deleted him
finally
after a whole year of agony
i deleted our texts
i deleted our pictures
i deleted his contact

i wish i could delete the memory of him
i wish i could delete the moments with him
i wish i could forget how safe i felt with him
i haven’t felt safe in a long time

when i swiped left
to delete our texts
something broke inside of me
and he was the one person i wanted to see in that moment

going through our pictures
hurt something different

and deleting his contact
i think i might’ve screamed
cuz it hit me
he’s really not coming back

apparently he misses me
i wish he would’ve told me before it was too late
but i’m proud of him for keeping no contact
i know it was hard for him too

i’m not angry at him anymore
just hurt
life is magically terrible
love is wonderfully painful

he’s not coming back
but i think im finally ok with that

Life is unfair; sometimes the misery we can't bear.
This was a feeling I could never share.
I am strong, strong enough to move on from this pain.
I won't feel the shame; my life is not a game.
Tired of these tears and my fears,
I will cherish my inspirations.
I will find my dream, I promise; that's what I will achieve.
I will find a way to leave.
I'm not who you will deceive.
I believe in miracles; these people laugh like it's hysterical.
I won't fall; I may be lost, but I will be found.
One day I will find the perfect life; life will run beautifully,
I will fly like a butterfly through the night, will have a pleasant sight.
Afraid but I will fight.
No boundaries, free my mind of all the pressure.
Leaving here will be my pleasure.
I want so much to be free; so much I want to see.
I want to reach the sky; I want so badly to fly.
See, I used to be a fool when I let you treat me cruel.
I made a mistake, but I won't let myself break.
Leave me, for God's sake.
So now I kneel down to pray.
For these times of struggle I will just say,
I'll leave in your hands, God. I will let go.

They sit with masked-up faces,
serious eyes,
empty stares lost in stained glass silence.
But not me.

Tears fall,
not out of weakness,
but because every drop is a memory
whispering,
“Let go. I’m fine.”

I don’t ask for forgiveness.
This isn’t about God.
This is about you —
the one I loved,
the one I remember
without holy scripts or hollow songs.

The church echoes with nothing.
But my chest?
A flood.

And every tear says:

“Thank you for seeing me.
Thank you for coming real.
Now breathe. Now live.
I’m already gone —
but never lost.”

So I stand,
outside the ritual,
inside the fire,
river-eyed and full of goodbye.

You're holding the rope so tight
Your fingers,
Your palms,
Ripped open
Hurting
Bleeding

Yet you can't let go
You just can't let go
What if you lose?
But what if
What feels like a loss
Is better than winning?
Better than
That long lasting
Dull ache,
Endless hurting

Even if you don't let go
Who says you'll win?
At some point
Your arms give in
You have to let go
Anyway

But what if you let go
Right now?
What if
There's Relief?
What if
You're finally
Able to breathe?

Forget winning
Forget losing

Sometimes
You just have to
Let go

Look out for the flickering lights
I heard some glass cracking
shards geting swallowed by the hurricane's tyranny
and the tyranny pleading at patriarchy's feet.
Look out for the desparation
penetrating out of rough gilded eyes
flowers wrapped in hands withering over time
and love swirling among rusted frames
   in oldest bus stand of town.

I shan't find love again. Not love for people, that I shall.
But love enough to see beauty in everything,
Love enough to wish to see smiles on faces I don't own,
Love enough to walk through places and feel grateful for life,
Love enough to have that urge to wake up in the morning,
Love enough to like everything equally,
Sun and Moon, Summer and Winter, Day and Night, Dry and Cold, Rain and Sunshine,
Nothing now gives that happy quirk in the stomach,
Serendipity a myth, Euphoria a long lost dream,
Now that you're gone.

Dear wonderful person, I'll leave you now,
I'll leave it all up to another dove,
who'll pick you up from where you fell,
and pull you out from your walking hell.
If you ever need me, I'll be right here,
faraway, but also near.
Don't worry, you'll soon be found.
Until then, stay safe and sound.