Why make memories when I'll want to erase them sooner or later
Nothing last forever even if I believed in it
And if pride got in the way of things, I'd rather not be proud of anything
There's days where my random thoughts come crashing down on me like sediments hitting the ground in a valley
A "stay with me" isn't so sure, but I can't ask for the impossible
I can only be sure of death, or a "goodbye" with an empty bottle pills in my hand
I never really got how I started seeing myself in the mirror without feeling anything
Sometimes I feel the need for my face to be seen in the streets even though people don't know it
I share and I lose, and that's why I feel as I go and think of it as a first time
I'll talk about what happened and what will never happen, but that's just me
I don't have much to say tonight, be good

The day will not arrive when the bird awakes and thinks "Not today, I don't feel like attending to the worm."

Nor will there ever be an ant who sits back and does not do its part for the industrious colony rather living off the labour of its fellows like so sort of parasite.

I realized what you meant
When you thought it's just laziness
When you expressed your concern
Over my health
Over my being over
The lack
Of me
Lately.
Over the lack of art
The lack of things I create with my
Mind and my hands
And my need
To express
My insides
The raw things
And thoughts
And feelings
I understand
Your concern and desperate way
Of speaking
Your exasperated wondering
If something in me is broken.
I'm happy
But where is my art
My paintings
Drawings
Writing
Music
And I think
Maybe because I am happy
I have lost the ability
To create
The things I made before
Were art born of pain
Born of raw unfiltered sorrow
Anger
And when I'm happy
Art doesn't flow as easily
And I've just accepted it
And I've just accepted being
In a rut.
And I understand your
Anger
Your sorrow
Your wondering and fear
That I'm just going to be
Lazy and Undriven.
Your fear that
I've stopped
Being
That I've stopped going
That I'm in love
And that I love you
But what am I doing
Sleeping and eating and nothing
So much
Nothing.
I am going to change that.
I am going to change me.
Because I love you.
And love is not enough.
You need to see that spark in me.
You need to see that go.
The big dreams.
That I've tucked away.
For comfort in sleep.
I need those nights where I toss
And turn
Until I get up and create
Magic
Drawing things
Boring things
Amazing things
Playing music from my heart
Singing from my soul
And making things around me beautiful

Crystals to my cranium.
Crepuscular rays in my hair.
Homeless is how I'd like to be.

I am not a worthless *****.
Stop treating me like one.

I am not an unsuccessful, lazy person.
Stop treating me like one.

I am not a snotty *****.
Stop treating me like one.

I am not a stupid know-it-all.
Stop treating me like one.

Without pause
Without flare
It steals itself away
Never to return
And to be all but forgotten

I want to swim up by your side
Between the sheets, through the tide

Warm my toes and take me under
Through depths and air bubbles we plunder

Your skin has a flavor, but do me a favor

Avoid all the retrospections
Focus on simple satisfactions

Your nose crinkles when you stifle a yawn
The longest hour is right before the dawn

Little birds chirp soft
Lazy sun awakens world
To my sleepy eyes.