there are some things
i’d never admit:
like the fact that
i can’t watch
american horror
story without feeling
my heart twitch
it’s like a scene plays
over again in my
head, remember?
we were laying
legs intertwined
peaceful on your bed
and i just recall
you taking your
fingers and running
them up my leg
and you gazed at me
(almost longingly)
and you told me
i am beautiful
and no other moments
could compare;
you trailed your
finger over my lips
past my cheek and
combed it
through my hair
i’d never admit that
i could’ve *******
sobbed at the
happiness you gave
me right then
and i felt like i
could have jumped
off a building and
landed again
and again
and you know
that time i told
you i just wanted
to be able to fly?
you’d be the wind
beneath my body
that kept me afloat
and i’d stream past
the clouds like birds
skim lake water and
wow,
you led me like
a pig to slaughter
and the sad thing is
i’d still forgive you
without a second
thought and that’s
what kills me, beats
my insides brutally;
you can stamp on
my skull, crush it
in half yet i’d
welcome you back
with open arms
you’d do it again
and that’s the
bittersweet truth
but honestly
i’d rather that
than lose you
have you gone
for good
you’re the best
and worst parts
of my youth
and i want you
to be the best
and worst parts
of my old age
too
i love you
i hate you
but mostly,
i just want you