Craterous deep
I worry about your sanity
How many got it wrong to the one who got it right?

The sun rises early
There is no mind
It just bugs a little because night is so sumblime
I can see maybe 126 different points of existance
And have them twinkle twist with a thousand years
They hold their presence with confidence befit a head of state
Royal rocks of alienate


It is day and now I must jump into the stream
Put on my overalls and cross -pollenate with the hive
And drop a pebbled throw into the blanket of thought
Spark quick and be forgot

You love my light, but can you embrace my darkness?
My madness, my neurosis, my insecurities?
You love my laugh, but can you love my tears and my scars and my pain as deeply as you love my joy?
You're willing to bask in my glistening iridescent infinite divine red aura splattered in gold tones...but will you be there when I'm unable to lift myself from the abyss of my ever churning, ever condemning, overthinking mind?
You want to celebrate my successes, but are you willing not to be overly critical of my failed attempts?
Are you willing to encourage me and believe in me when I can't do it for myself?
I'm simultaneously
happy and sad,
hot and cold,
unfettered and bound,
knowing and ignorant,
open and closed,
sure and unsure,
deep and shallow,
obsessed and unconcerned
...can you handle that?
Can you handle me?
Is it too dizzying of a realization that every part of me has a deep opposing counterpart?
Will you stay?
Will you leave? If so- I've just given you permission to do whatever you feel that you need...

You can't have my light without my darkness. You can't have my joy and discard my pain. You can't have my sanity without my insanity. You can't gather the things that you like and discard the ugly parts, further fragmenting my already fragmented soul...

Every part of me longs to feel the warmth of the sun
Every part of me longs to shown off like a most prized possession
Every part of me longs to be nurtured and cared for and protected and validated
Not by everyone- but by YOU
I don't need them. I just need you
Every part of me longs to be seen by you
felt by
loved by
You.

Every. Part.

See my heart, ******* thoughts, feel the colors of my memories

Into me see

Intimacy

~KiCo!

She falls
tumbling further into the pitch black abyss
grasping at words of twisted manipulation
disguised as sturdy branches
that could end her perpetual falling
if she would just grab onto them.
She envisions thick, reliable branches
of kind words and attention that
she could firmly hold
and plant her searching roots into.
One that would support
her dreams and
her home and
her love.
She hopes and wishes as
she is grasping at the black air.
But,
until then,
She falls.