Revenge is on my mind.

Running a knife deep through your spine.

Father I hope you know I've lost my mind.

If the needles don't get to you in time.

I'll be taking your life along with mine.

atleast the words I speak
are the truth
atleast you know the war
that goes on in my mind

of course it hurts
but now you know
of the pain between
my every heart beat

darling this isn't hurt
truth doesn't hurt
half as much
as a lie does

but you wouldn't know
what a lie feels like
or what a liar looks like
now would you

you only know the pain
of truth
and take it from one who has
felt both

lies give birth
to hate
to hurt
to disgust

if truth makes your body ache
and makes your soul cry in pain
then imagine the pain
caused by the lies you spoke

You have been in my family for years.
A long history I have with you.
yet I know nothing about you.
I only know how you can make me feel.
I know that I can fall asleep so happy with myself and my life.
Only to wake up and want to end it.
I can go from confused to angry within a matter of seconds all because of the thoughts you put in my head.
You've got me wishing I was dead.
You've got me hopeless , lost, and scared of my own thoughts.
I have tried to make amends with you.
I have asked you to leave, but looking at my family tree I guess that isn't up to me. I am so jealous of those in my family that have not crossed your path.
I am so angry you chose me, because I want nothing to do with you, but you want everything to do with me.
Slowly I am understanding how you work, but it seems once I learn your pattern, you decide to make a new one.
I wish I was "normal" I wish I didn't have to explain to people in my life that it is not entirely up to me on how I feel.
I will not let you destroy me .
I will not become you, but I am now okay with you becoming a part of me.

are you up for a ride?
existence is timeless as long as you can concentrate on not concentrating on the chains that constrain you from joy.
forget your made up problems, from this made up schedule that organizes your made up life.
you are nothing but fiction.
a collection of figments of consciousness, paradoxically, including your own.
dissolve the bittersweet pills of perception.
be a wanderer in the astral landscape of  understanding beyond what can be understood.
**** on the ruthless music notes that dare pierce your soul and remind you of your body.
be free of all humanness in you.
be the nothing between us,
and everything.

If I wrote about dragons
on distant lands being rode by fairies
and spoke of them coming to earth
to rondevu with mankind,
would you think me insane or sane?

If I told you I sat on the back of
a purple grasshopper
to move in rainbow skies
singing songs joyfully through fluffy clouds,
would you think me sane or insane?

If I told you I took a vacation on Mars
and had a grand time
celebrating with my alien neighbors
as we circled the universe,
would you think me sane or insane?

If I told you we were really one
part of a living planet ever
evolving on a playground
guided by our higher selves,
would you think me sane or insane?

No matter for I am an avatar
and I can do and say anything
in the world of my sane insane-like mind.