There is a pain so intense no one can bare it
not the strongest or the bravest
this is the pain of being in love

the perfect agony
the painful ecstasy

it is not the affliction of love
love does not burn so much
the love for friend of family
does not reduce people to their knees

this is the agony of ‘in love’
the first glimpse
the first touch
before you see they are also human...

I feel like I’m in a dark room
Without light or a sense of direction
I used to be scared by the infinite gloom
But now I know you’re somewhere in it

Clock says 3:34, Friday afternoon
Waiting for the bell, but it rings too soon
My throat's too parched, butterflies in my stomach
I walk out of class, then I take off running
I hear my voice squeaking, I'm sweating bullets
My heartbeat's racing, I tell myself to cool it
Gotta get myself ready, I'm a nervous wreck
As I put myself out there, stick out my neck
I stroll to her locker, think I'm smooth as butter
Catch her bright gaze, involuntarily I shudder
Never done this before, ****'s scared outta me
So I open my mouth
What's it gonna be?
I squeak out the words
"Will you go out with me?"

No response as she turns back to the metal door
Spins the combination, flicks it back once more
The green rectangle swings open toward me
Now I start to wonder, do I have to repeat?
I quickly say her name, catch her nod from behind
I stare dumbfounded, wish I had a better line
Door slams shut, which way's this gonna go?
She spins then replies...
"Maybe. I don't know."

...Uh, wait, huh? What's that supposed to mean?
I just stare in shock, I feel like I'm turning green
I prepared for the yes, I prepared for the no
But after that answer what the hell do I know?
With a flippant little shrug she brushes right past
Says "I'll catch ya later", disappears into the mass
I'm standing alone, fingers nervously tapping
With a singular thought - What the hell just happened?
I didn't get the yes that I hoped for and expected
And she didn't say no, but I feel pretty **** dejected
Did I get rejected? Well, my ego got bruised
I'm bewildered and perplexed, downright confused
I'm frozen, mystified, as my buddies breeze by
One stops on a dime, spins and looks me in the eye
His expectant look asks a silent yes or no
I just give a little shrug...
"Maybe. I don't know."

They pester me with questions on our long walk home
But I'm totally distracted and I let my mind roam
What does Monday hold in store, will I get an answer?
I feel the panic rising so I join the friendly banter
The weekend creeps by, I'm consumed by my thoughts
Exhausted by the wondering, stomach still in knots
Early Monday morning, confidently stroll to school
But before I reach the door I feel like a **** fool
My eyes scan the grounds and I see where she stands
I spot her...
Another guy...
And their interlocked hands

My jaw drops a foot and I suddenly feel sick
Is she ruthlessly cruel or this a mean trick?
Internally I'm fuming nonstop all day
Externally I'm sweating and the world fades away
It feels like each class is progressively hotter
I ask my last teacher to leave to get some water
The class hears her reply and loses all control
Through the laughter comes her answer...

"Maybe. I don't know."

Hold onto this heart
And will never be apart
We’ll fight for our rights
Girl just hold on tight
Take my hand
Because our love can never end

Baby you mean everything to me
You could never be more perfect
This is what I want
You are what I need
You’re the one I want to be with
You’re my heart, My soul
I can never let you go

Girl, let me show you
Just how much I love you.
Girl, let me kiss you
Because I really miss you.
Girl, let me hold you
So I can never let you go.

Baby you mean everything to me
You could never be more perfect
This is what I want
You are what I need
You’re the one I want to be with
You’re my heart, My soul
I can never let you go

I’ll be there
To dry your eyes
To caress and hold you tight
There’s nothing we can’t do
When I’m so in love with you

Baby you mean everything to me
You could never be more perfect
This is what I want
You are what I need
You’re the one I want to be with
You’re my heart, My soul
I can never let you go

I’ll always be there
She knows how much I care
I’ve opened up and let her in
Because she’s my everything
When I look into her eyes
I see, just where I want to be
In this place, I want to stay
And embrace your beautiful face

Baby you mean everything to me
You could never be more perfect
This is what I want
You are what I need
You’re the one I want to be with
You’re my heart, My soul
I can never let you go

She’s got the touch of an angel
Girl your loving leaves me breathless
So enchanted, I am speechless
She can tell, all that’s she means to me
She is all I see
This girl is my world
And all I’ll ever need

Baby you mean everything to me
You could never be more perfect
This is what I want
You are what I need
You’re the one I want to be with
You’re my heart, My soul
I can never let you go

I love the feel of your soft skin
And the warm touch from your hands
I hope these moments never end
I could never fall as hard
As I have fell for you
No matter the odds
Stacked against us
I know will make it through
Because it’s our love
That binds me and you
You’ll always be the girl I choose
This I’ve promised you
And yeah girl, you know it’s true.

Baby you mean everything to me
You could never be more perfect
This is what I want
You are what I need
You’re the one I want to be with
You’re my heart, My soul
I can never let you go

©2019 Written By Benji James

tear me apart, like roughened stained glass, ‘cause I’m not of paper,
instead, I’m of sand from the shores of your heart,
embered from the fluid of your ******* blood.