Standing on the edge of uncertainty

She stares down at what’s to come

Her breath is caught by indecision

As she looks on she finds the fear of the future

But when she looks back she knows her past is gone

So she closes her and dives into

The unsteady waves that consume her

If I could press each thought I've spoken
into a dandelion head
and if 'promise' weren't a word,
then I'd promise you that I would.
Still, somehow I almost do with the look I just gave you.
But no sound is a word I could just leave there behind me.
Imagine this tugging,
I feel it
like tassels on a shadow moving across the floor.
Sometimes I can feel them dragging
there and exposed to the places I pass through.
But somehow they blend me
into the surface of this world.
And so I let them do it,
Blur my rigid outline
just to make me something more
than this shape your eyes have given me.

I read my poems over and over,
become convinced that my heart is bipolar.
Find me laid out on the four corners
my limbs in each state-
picking a new place
to escape you and my fate.
But if you were to go- you'd probably
get a phone call from New York
saying you just missed the funeral.

If I called a psychic hotline,
could the disembodied voice
on the other end of the line
give me some secret to my future?

Or should I try the palm readers
so ubiquitous throughout
the seedier parts of town late at night?
Maybe they can read the clues
sketched onto my hands
and point me in the direction
of the path I'm meant to be on.

Can I find a crystal ball gazer
and have her look deep
into the swirling mists of myself?
Tell me ma'am, am I doing
anything at all right?

I suppose I'm meant to be content
wandering aimlessly along,
with no one to whisper
secrets in my ear as I go.  
But tell me ma'am,
does it drive everyone
as mad as it's driving me?

The world is a wall
And bricks are tumbling outwards
Putting your hand on the right one
Will save you.

It's one of those days
I can't make sense of my thoughts
and quite frankly
it's ******* me off.
I don't even know
what I want anymore.
I say one thing
and do another
And I know
it makes no sense
but I can't help
my senselessness.
I'm drowning in my indecision
and my desire for difference.
And really
I feel defeated.

But I swear will not be.

I've been feeling things I don't know how to describe
I'm not sure when it happened
I feel like I'm born again, and everything is new and nothing has meaning

I'm no longer afraid of life after death
But he stands in my way

I kept on thinking about how everything felt like nothing except when I touched him
I couldn't say what I had done the day before but I could tell you in detail how his skin felt, what side of his face pulled his smile, and which hand he used to push back his hair.

When I cry he tells me he understands, but when he cries I know he doesn't
He says he believes he was meant to find me but I told him I don't believe in that
What does he know?