I am crying out for help,
I simply cannot take this pain,
I would rather a hundred needles,
Than this feeling in my veins.

I am scared I will wake paralysed,
I’ll feel more than out of sorts,
I do not think I can shake this,
The only thing racing will be my thoughts.

I am crying
Crying out in pain
This suffering I feel
There is no cure
I am not heard
I am screaming
Begging for help
Yet I am alone
Writhing
My bones are sore
My mind is at its tether
What can I do?

Maybe I am dying
We all are
A little bit everyday
But this pain
I am dying a little more
What will it be?
What will cause my end?
My body or my mind
Decaying
Both are weak
I cannot remember
Ever being strong.

i already miss flying
high above myself,
unaware of every ****
i should be giving.

i plant flowers in my
wounds instead,
fully aware—I feel them
grow from me
& bloom.

painful, beautiful.

and so powerful.

I used to find power in
deflecting
neglecting
rejecting &
subjecting myself.

healing is hurting.
healing is hurting.

hurt people hurt people.
but healed people heal people.
and maybe sometimes they’re the same person.

like the blood that seeps
through the holes n gaps in my skin
i patch it up
with paper and tape
but what lays underneath
calls every blade to my skin
i try again
to keep it away
but it causes a hunger that's impossible to satisfy
in any other way

but maybe that's a story for another day.

I want to hide in
someone else’s house
sleep in the retreat room
and be myself
wear a slipper
drink a cup of tea
lie back in their chair
and watch TV

I want to hide
in someone else’s house
spray some cologne
and be myself
look at photographs
forget about me
leave the noise outside
browse the library

I want to hide
in someone else’s house
deeper in the forest
and be myself
lost in their walls
as far as can be
maybe up in the attic
alone but free

I want to hide
In someone else’s house
look through the rooms
and find myself
if only I could
try find a key
for my own house
won’t house me

I want to hide
in someone else’s house
not be a Jesus,
just be myself
just another piece missing
like missing socks
still finding peace
being Goldilocks

Government regulators attempted to **** me
God's angels are the people that saved me
They created the problem buy giving the Dr the key
Escapades that spiralled like a birch tree
To suppress confessions and evidence
People were given unwanted medicine
Some ran but caught by the magnet resonance
Others 6 feet under, blessed by a church eminence
God help! Sadists and cannibals eat patients
Colluding in auditory nerves in acoustic vibrations
They are the nations NHS saviours
When people suffer they have secret celebrations
Looking for the innocent soul
Destroying with false reports and a troll
Exploiting every loophole
Services and public on a sly payroll
Pseudo science disease is a abomination
That of mental illness to the nation
That has brain washed the population
Truth will singe psychiatry to decimation

My chest hurts so much
All I want to do is scream and to bleed
How much longer do I have to feel like this?
Why do I have to suffer?
It suffocates me
It makes me think things I wish I didn't
It makes me feel things I can't physically and mentally handle
It hurts
Make it stop...
Please just make it stop.