I long...
                      For you to hold my hands
                      while doing everything we planned.

                                For you to whisper in my ears
                                as you drive away my fears.

                      For you to be my light
                      Every time darkness covers my sight.

                                For me to listen to your heart's beat,
                                each moment we meet.

As much as I want this, reality strikes and it's hard to dismiss.
That even if I know this is all wrong, it's still you I always long.

"Rereading her texts doesn't bring her back from the dead."


And I'm dead anyways. So read my texts all you want.

Somebody pick a fight with me. Set this all ablaze and watch the photos burn.

No.

I can't do that. I will not give the world the satisfaction of being right about me. That I'm this monster...

Rereading her texts doesn't bring her back from the dead.

But she's not dead.

So let me rephrase:

Rereading her texts... doesn't bring her back.

It’s hard to believe that something shining so bright could be so far away from where we are. To think that something like the moon or the stars seems closer to us than it is. And we’ve been there, we’ve been to the moon. Isn’t that amazing? And yet we still look up at the dark night sky…

Looking for something...

What that is, I don’t know. But I guess you see something in that sky right? Whether or not you’re searching for something up there is up to you.

But hey, that sky looks amazing doesn’t it?

So maybe you’ve got a wish to throw up there along with the other shooting stars. And I wish you the best of luck with that.

So keep stargazing if you must, maybe a shooting star will appear for you. I hope it does. And hey, maybe something will happen up there, you just have to keep watching to find out. Thanks for finding my letter.

~Letter Writer

If I had a wishing rock
I'd wish for so many things
I'd wish castle or a golden bird that sings
I'd wish for a meadow filled with creatures
So I can watch nature go by
I'd wish for eternal life
So I'd never die.

If I had a wishing rock
I could wish for lots of things
I could wish for luxurious riches
Or really shiny blings
I could wish for a mansion with a pool and lots of cars
I could wish for a rocket ship to take me amongst the stars

If I had a wishing rock
I would definitely wish for love
One from another
And one from the father above
I would wish for someone to kiss and hug
So that I could fly on the wings of a dove

But I don't have a wishing rock
So I can't wish for these things
All I can wish for
Is that , to my heart,
Joy you'll bring

                *La Vida Love

Is a desperate wish the heart makes
In want, of correcting life's mistakes

I have a crush
That is the fact of it

If she were you,
By you I mean reading this
I would blush

I don't really want you knowing how I feel.
Sorry not sorry.

How would you react?
Probably poorly.

I fear you would isolate
You wouldn't have to run
You live to far away.

But then because I am foolish I would try to win your heart.
I might as well try if you're hear

I would tell you that I love you like the moon loves the waters.
Even though both are pulled by the more practical sun,
They yearn for each other in matrimony

That's not good enough.

I would love you like a butterfly loves a flower
It does not concern itself with the circumstances around the flower.
It just lands because it knows it's where it belongs

That was bad

I love you in the way that I love you
This meaning I would love you till
Death do us part
I would help you threw
Good and bad
Happy and sad
I would love you like no person can

But you wouldn't fall for me.
I'm far to much of who I am.

Why am i so far
away
constantly?

I cannot
always breathe
or always think
or always feel

and I am not
one to disassociate
when there's still something worth
associating with.

but I ask why,
why am I like this?
why do I hide
curl into a ball
sob incoherently.

when I know perfectly well
why.

you curl into a ball to protect your face
to hide your vulnerable parts
loud noises make me flinch
loud voices make it worse.

conflict sends me spiraling
I can see my carefully
constructed
sanity
slipping away.

I'm a fraud.
I construct fallacies.
falsehoods about being sane
and good
and kind.

about having a moral compass
that always points north of wrong.

I am cruel within my judgments
I am jealous and snarky.

I am quick to jump
to conclusions
and assumptions.

I cry too easy,
I anger too quickly.

I am an unstable inferno,
either constantly burning at a calm lull
or blazing and consuming
all in my path.

I am a storm siren,
and within the rain and winds
that bring the fall of man,
watch the chaos
descend.

and if only/
if only/
the woodpecker sang
the bark on this tree
was just a little bit softer

if only/ if only
sang the wolf from below.

I would like
the rain
to stop.

If only, you was here with me
If only, every humane was truly free
If only, I could have a baby
If only, I hadn't been slowly driven crazy
If only, our love was still strong
If only, the surgery hadn't went wrong
If only, you didn't live so far away
If only, I had the right words to say
If only, we were not at war
If only, I wasn't a ****** looking for a score
If only, that car hadn't crossed lanes
If only, I was still the same
If only, cancer had a cure
If only, I was an entrepreneur
If only, my car hadn't broke down
If only, he had scored that touchdown
If only, you would come back
If only, my world wasn't painted black
If only, I could go back in time
If only, life was sublime
If only, you hadn't got sick
If only, I was a magician with wonderful tricks
If only, I was rich
If only, with your life I could switch
If only, you truly where in love
If only, I could fly like a dove
If only, you hadn't died
If only, I hadn't lied
If only, I could be famous
If only, we could sit and reminisce
If only, my heart would have never heen broken
If only, the truth was spoken
If only, I had told you how I felt
If only, a better hand I was dealt
If only, we never had to grow old
If only, the future I controlled
If only Eve hadn't eaten that apple and comited the first sin
If only.......... is a simple longing, heart felt wish, for what could've, would've, should've, might've been

running through
time and space,
I happen upon you
dancing with someone else--

you sway,
she leans
and I sulk for
losing my chance--

eventually I'll have the nerve
to ask you to dance,
to grace the world
with your radiance
and I'll bask in blissful
happiness as you look at me
and only me amidst the Others--

If only I could be aware,
that I'm not the one that you want to possess;
Is it wrong, if I yearn you in my heart?

If only it could be accepted,
that our love does never exist;
Do I ever exist in your heart?