People warned me,

turned against me,

said I was a fool.



Yet you I trusted

but now that's busted.

Still my love overrules



And I don't wanna ****

something so divine.

Who knew I could have

so much love inside?

Even through all the suffering,

for you I’d still give anything.



You’ve turned my care into a curse,

my offer of aid into a disgrace.

You're always messing with my mind,

sabotaged all I tried to rebuild.



Now I lie in bed alone

clinging to all you left me.

I still look for your attention

and I have cried so much

over your wandering affection,

over how I miss your touch.

Tell me how can I move on

when I’ve loved you so wholly?



But I don't wanna ****

something so divine.

Highly doubt I could

even if I tried.

I’ve held on so tightly

though it’d suffocate me.

But even through all the suffering,

for you I would do anything.

1-8-25   8:05pm

every time you don't respond
i convince myself you're done

my mind
my worst enemy

do you still want this with me?
i might ask

have you met someone else?
is she wonderful?
what does she smell like?
does her laugh sound like the most wonderous
orchestra known to man


the feeling of love
and wanting to be loved
is so volatile
my own personal current
pushing out to sea

i accidentally fell asleep on a blanket in my backyard
the sun was warm, the sky was clear, and the ground wasn't too hard
when i woke up my husband was smiling at me
and in his arms was our beautiful baby
they both had glittering brown eyes
and i smiled back at them; i love my life.
the baby was laughing and everything was perfect
and suddenly, all the pain was worth it.
but then i woke up in the real world
i was not your wife, not even your girl.
it felt so real, but it was just a dream
will it ever become a reality?

He was the light of my life
but he dared to leave my sight
he was so beautiful like a wild rose, no one dared to touch it because of it's thorns
they were scared that it will make them bleed, but when i saw it i picked it. i carried it home
I didn't care how it made my hands bleed, i didn't really care. i took care of it
but like every flower, this one died too. i begged it to stay
I cried please don't go
But he left me

I cried, Oh how many lonely nights i cried
He told me how we were meant to be, how he loves me, how we are going to be together forever
but none of it was true
I was so naive
I was foolish
Oh how foolish i was to trust him, to love him

At that point i was bleeding
My heart ripped out of my chest
I didn't care
I just wanted my boy back
I didn't care how much he was hurting me
i just wanted him back
Even though i was bleeding i wanted him back
But the love died
The beautiful flower died
the light shut down
and slowly did i
I lost the light in my eyes and i lost myself in the pain of a broken heart and being a hopeless romantic

I like you
Not in the way where my heart is beating fast or where I gift you trinkets
More in the way where you are like a shadow everywhere i go, invading my thoughts
I fear to be around you
I’m scared that I might say something I’ll regret
I know you’ll never look my way
and I know I’m falling deep in

I’m stuck in a time loop
Reliving the same day
I no longer wish to dream a dream
Because all i see is you
But i won’t call it a nightmare
More like a dream I should beware

I say that if the stars were to fall
And the moon were to burn
It wouldn’t matter because i see the heavens in your eyes
The world can crumble if I get to see you one last time

but, I keep lying to myself that this feeling will pass
I don’t like you
(say the truth)
just the thought of being with you
(I want you)  
You don’t make my heart beat
(liar)
I really don’t like you
(set my heart on fire)

Sometimes I feel like Icarus..
I love someone always too far from me that when I reach I burn
Destined to fall
But i know I’ll still love
A fated curse
I hate how it hurts
Years go by and nothing has changed
Maybe it’s time I quit this stupid race
Like a loyal dog who waits for someone who will never come my way
I romanticize Odysseus and Penelope’s relationship
To feel the love that they had.
Is it something so hard to ask?
Forget it
It was a mistake to even think about something I could never have.

It was the pre-weeks of winter
Our connection was growing thinner
Leaves fell, and I began to shiver
Then, I knew my heart would need a blister.

Our time went by like a breeze
I assumed we had a tight lease
And I was mad at you for being a tease
Weren't we supposed to go for drinks?

Some doors are best left closed, I guess
But that notion keeps my anxiety worse
Like playing a grandmaster in chess
Oh, emotions and you pretty ugly mess.

Love's gone, and regret pays the rent
Talk about an ending that's nonchalant.

I'll never share a kiss
Or receive handwritten love letters
I'll never be given a bouquet of pink and red flowers
Or dance in the street with the late night showers

And when I feel distraught
There'll be no one there
I'll never experience comfort from another
Never the warmest hugs of a lover

I'll watch everyone else slowly fall in love
While I watch in the distance
And I wonder when it'll be my turn
Having something that which years I've yearned

And I'm simply told to get over myself
And find comfort in being independent
But for my whole life I've been on my own
Oh, how I wish to be the subject of a love poem

Must I spend my whole life alone?
Must I spend my whole life unloved?
If only I wasn't drowned in such a frantic
Oh, the miserable life of a hopeless romantic

I found that I dislike sweet things
To save my tolerance for you
And your self obsessed syrup of supremacy

A love letter in milk
Raspberries
Ice and sugar

A sweetness unmatched
A hint of narcissism
In watching you try to taste
the sweetness that you are

An impossible possibility
Oh holy matrimony
A constant pursuit of Fool's Gold

Day in and day out
Textbook tenacity
Personified

But you drink,
And drink,
And drink

Try,
And try,
And try

With two milkshakes a day