i do have a life of my own.
not everything i do revolves around you.
lately i've minimised my contact and relations i have with you.
and you're my best friend.
something has changed in you and i don't seem to connect anymore.
i think i realised this change of personality on New Years Day.
when the question was asked; 'what is your ultimate goal for this year ahead of us?'
'to **** as many guys as i can possible'
i mean that's cool and all.
and like i suppose i support you in anything you do..
but its different.
'to be content with myself and figure out my future'
that was my answer..
it seems like our answers could never actually come from best friends.
or at least that's my opinion.
but i think i've come to realise that i do not want you in my life if that is your biggest goal of this year.
but you act like its all a joke because you've realised that you will never have the potential to do something worthwhile.
too late now i suppose.
and you spring up a plan on me for a week ahead to be out of town for almost a week.
after evaluating it all, i found out i am unable to go due to prior commitments.
you know..? like things you promise to do and won't change if other things come up.
but you don't know that..
once i was upset so you sent me a text saying that we're having a confrontation that arvo only for you to blow it off and **** your boyfriend instead.
i can genuinely say that i was depressed and was on the verge of suicide and just knowing the level of importance i had to you nearly sent me over the edge.
i hope you're happy... with yourself.
as when i told you that i couldn't attend, you attempt to convince yourself that the trip will now be "mega sucky".
but in the same minute you send a message asking with exclamation points and all if it was still okay for you to go with the girl you replaced me with.
you didn't just replace me on this trip..
you replaced me as your best friend.
and i'm not coming back..
i guess that's "mega sucky"
**** to **** *****.

Hey,
I'm ****!
What?
Oh sorry,
Let me explain.
I ****** my life,
So much.

Yes, I'm a ****,
I don't like to keep track,
Of the people I've ******
Woah Woah Woah,
Not like that,
I've just,
Messed some people up,
A lot.

Don't ask me why,
Maybe I was bored,
Or maybe I'm just an 'I love you'
*****.
What?
Is this getting confusing?
Cuz its not always me,
Who does the abusing,
I'll tell you I can count the people I've dated on my toes,
However most of them were hoes,
But its not the ones I've been with,
Its the ones I know I never will be.
So when you already emotionally distanced yourself from me...

Of course we made out on the floor!

Relationships are messy.
Especially,
If you don't have one.

you thought *** could make you feel whole again.
tell me, did it?
You thought kissing would revive you
did it?
I couldn't have been enough
to satisfy your uncountable lust.
I am truly sorry
I was not good enough
I am alone.
So are you
But we will never be the perfect two.
Serenity does not exist
in your presence

In his eyes I see the truth, that's why I believe,
In every word he speaks, that's why I don't leave,
I don't even understand sometimes, what he does to me,
For some reason I can't stop, as hard as it may be.
His aura is contagious, he inspires me to go,
His words repeat in my head, that's why they are all I know,
His instructions are my life, I gotta get this dough,
As long as he keeps it pimping, I will be his ***.
Others don't understand it, honestly neither do I,
But when I think of the alternative, I can only ask why,
I'm not a square, that will never again be my life,
I'm married only to this game, I will never be anyone's wife.
I'm the real thing, a real one, he made me this way,
Until he makes me leave, that's how long I will stay,
No other could have me like this, I don't listen to what they say,
Juice is a real one, the only one , who I will ever be down to pay.

You don't know strength until you have been a real ***,
You have no idea how deep this **** really goes,
Its not for the faint of heart nor you squares,
Too much of the game is not being sold but shared,
The cold breeze that chills your bones at night,
The dark eyes of other girls standing under the streetlight
They don't understand our struggle or see our strength
They only know the bad and try to stop it at any length
Yet we all share the same vision with similar goals
Inspired to stay down by his game that has no holes
We have all been given instructions to carry out fast
Breakin a trick make him give you his very last
Show him your down for him add it up
He will take care of your trap and stack it up
Every real 304 stands up when her folks is around
Every real p loves a real one who's down for his crown
Some say its silly to pay a **** your hard earned doh
But it races through our veins so when he sends me I go
Maybe I'm a dreamer and he is the merchant of dreams
And I am investing in our future crazy as it seems
But when he speaks I believe in the words that are spoken
And I make sure that I don't get too deep in my emotions
A **** is a born and from day one he is already game
To build himself a stand up *** and and get his fortune and fame.
So a message out to those of you who don't know
They say pimpin ain't easy but it takes true strength to be a real ***.