Why is it
That the way I love
Anyone else
Is colored
By the way
I have loved you?

Staring at me
Cooking my food
In the shadows

Yeah you thought
I didn't see you
Creeping by
To see if I'm
Watching you watching me

Creepy

I can say
I will be dying any moment from now
And so, my heart races
To meet all your expectation
To meet the stars and to bloom among flowers
To flow down the brooks and float over the ocean
My eyes blinded by flashbacks
Of childhood engulfed by adulthood
And love eclipsed with uncovered realities
Your broken chains of laughter
Like these soft spider webs
Entangles my conscience
And I wait to die
And my heart races
To meet all your expectations
Before I fall off
And you will call me no more

Patience has taken it’s time to consume me.
Awake, waking, drifting off in time taking
Hairs from my arm as the hands are braking.
The broken moment entombs me.

wrapped in a fraction of a second.
Achieve consciousness, a flooding
collection of memories and senses.
Just to break back to start at the ending.

Crashing against.

                              Re-living life over
and over. And over again. Fence me
to myself, to forget and remember.
For only a fraction of a second

In my mind its September.  

                               'Times on it’s
ridden race again’ say's Rabbie .
But I think it’s either stuck or turned
Madly.

Id love to get away for a while but with this loneliness haunting me,
it would break me down even more just being away from what i already know.. i really want to venture out and explore something new but im too scared that might hurt me too, i want be free from myself, but im tied down i cant move from here,  im such a burden to myself, maybe if i make a change and cut my long hair il be free.. maybe thats whats tying me down?

in class
they asked us
if we were
afraid of the dark

no i'm not afraid
of the dark that
fills my room
at two a.m.

i'm not afraid of the dark
that engulfs
underground caves
or the darkness
submerged deep in
the atlantic ocean

but
i'm afraid of the dark
that seeps through
every fissure
and crevice
of my splintered heart;
the blackness that
cascades through
my veins
and the gloom
that fills my lungs
(with no room
for oxygen.)

yes, i'm afraid
of a certain kind
of darkness:
the kind that can't
be illuminated
by a flashlight

Lately I've been comparing people to birds and relationships to cages.
We often try to lure the birds to our cages by using secrets, gossip and materialistic things (seldomnly I hope).
And when the birds are in our cage we shut the door without a second thought. We trap our beautiful birds and think that they'll be happy when we feed them love, advice, laughter and other sweet sounds. Sadly, we don't feed them the sweetest of the feelings : freedom. And by freedom I don't mean pushing them out of the cage and forcing them to fly far away because you can't bare the thought of not having them to yourself. Freedom is leaving the cage door open, so if they hear a more melodious laughter in the neighbours house they may go and hear it as they please. And it also means that you'll be dancing along instead of trying to sing louder and better. Because birds, as pretty as they are to have around, are built with wings to fly around the world. And what a pleasure it would be to know that out of all the sounds in the world, your bird came back by choice?

The only love I've ever known is the love from my mother
and as grateful as I am for her, because she owns every inch of my heart and all of my body, in a mothers way
I just wonder..
but what it would be to have the love of another
to have him run his hands over every part of my skin
to taste his dry lips
to have my inhalations cease because of his appearance

what it would be..

but I climb into bed, remembering that fairy tales are far from real
and I love you, momma.