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Archer 5d
Ice cream
sounded like a splendid idea, and
God, was it.
So, I caved,
so what?
I should be allowed to accept the things
my friend offers me.
Maybe my heart hurt from rejection,
but it was nothing shoveling
cold dairy into my gullet with
that same friend
can’t fix.

So, I ****** up,
I spoke up.
My shoulders tensed and my grip around my spoon would surely leave an imprint for a minute.
While it most certainly is a big deal-
a huge deal-
it’ll get better,
I swallowed.
Not mint chip,
but saliva that I hadn’t even realized accumulated.
It will get better. Right?
I looked to my friend for advice.
Sure, it tended to be
less than helpful,
but it was advice nonetheless.

Well, I,
He leaned against his forearms on the
countertop,
holding his own spoon in one hand and
bowl in the other.
Yeah.

That sounds confident,
I remarked, but I creased my eyebrows.
It would get better.
Right?

Yes. Yeah. It will get better.
He gave me a smile and leaned back up;
the stool legs whined as he shifted against the counter.

It was consolation,
kind of,
but it still was consolation.
I’d completely biffed on confessing my
undying love and had basically hit rock bottom.
And you know what they say:
“the next step above rock bottom is eating
ice cream
with your bros.”
I stared at the green clump of
ice cream
in my bowl.
Some chips were sludging out of it due to it melting.

I do envy you,
I tossed my words to him,
though my face was
still
aimed down and at the bowl.

Why’s that?

I chuckled and shook my head before
picking up a scoop of
ice cream.
You don’t have to deal with rejection as
pathetic as mine,
with that I bit the
ice cream
off my spoon, though avoided scraping my teeth against the metal.

I couldn’t help but notice how he avoided my observation the same way.

Yeah,
he chuckled after some time,
I don’t.

I raised an eyebrow.
Something felt off in my stomach, and it wasn’t the countless bowls of mint chocolate chip
ice cream
I had consumed.
What?
I plastered on a smile.
Got some secret love life I don’t know about?
A little crush on a girl?

He scoffed and punched my shoulder.
It didn’t hurt.
Nahh,
he rolled his eyes and ate a bite of his
ice cream.
He swallowed before continuing.
That’s not for me,
his voice lowered.
He must’ve noticed me staring because he shoved my bowl closer to me and looked away quicker than the speeds I drove at.
Focus on your
ice cream.
You’ve practically eaten the whole tub of
mint chip anyways.

I narrowed my eyes at the back of his head.
Uhuh.

Odd.
Archer 5d
So
I couldn’t bring myself to do it
So what?
Love comes around and goes around
High school was never meant to last forever
Four years in hell
Is better than an eternity of being dead
Plus
That wasn’t always my outlook
So what?
People grow and I should be no different
Single on valentines again
For the fourteenth year
Is better than an eternity of being dead
Archer 6d
Boy was he oblivious.
Sure, I was dense,
but at least I could admit it.
I could also admit that
I was a little hurt
each time he
seemingly
chose to ignore my pokes and prods.
I get to listen to him go on and on about this one girl-
who I don’t even care that much about-
and he gets to go on and on about her.

Obviously, I’ve got to be there for him.
Everyone should be there for the ones they love. But ****,
does it hurt when the ones you love
jab
at the heart that throbs for them.

I refused to let the ride home be silent.

Did you want some ice cream or something to make you feel better?

A groan of a reply.

I didn’t bother to give him a glance.
I squeezed the steering wheel and kept my eyes glued to the road,
though I’d rather they be glued to him.

You should come over,
I spoke, though it was almost
drowned out by the whiny screech of my brakes.
I took the opportunity to look at him.
He did not meet my eyes.
Instead, his arms were over his chest and he stared at the window at some old car wash
on the right side of my Toyota.
I think you could benefit from a break  thinking
about that girl.

I don’t know, man,
a sentence at last.
I have homework probably.

The car ****** forward as the light turned green, breaking my companion’s eye contact with
the gas station extension.
My eyes lingered on him for a moment before
I scratched the back of my neck.

C’mon, it’s Friday,
I urged.
You deserve a chance to take your mind off that girl.

He threw his arms out.
She’s not just some girl!
She’s an absolute beauty who
barely knows I exist! Like I said,
angel fish,
he gestured to the air to the right of him,
Sea urchin,
the same hand now met his chest on the “sea”.

I,
I shook my head.
I think you give that
b#tch
too much credit, you know?
She called you slurs…
I brought the car to a cruising speed when I noticed we were alone on the road.
And, ‘cause, y’know. I think sea urchins are pretty f#cking awesome.
I snuck a glance at him.
He was staring at his lap;
his brows were knitted and his eyes looked as if they would fall out of the sockets.
…I think I’m a sea urchin as well.

He snorted and sat up straight to look at me. “Really?
He smiled,
dimples showing.
Good.
You can’t be a sea urchin too;
you’re too perfect to be one.
His head of brown hair shook and
one of his matching brows raised.

Perfect?
I grinned.
This guy?
I brought a hand off the steering wheel and ****** a thumb towards my chest.
I was a careful enough driver to
still be focused on the road.
At first glance you might think I’m some sort of reckless delinquent
who only cares about
getting girls and
getting drunk.
That couldn’t be further from the truth.

Well, maybe not perfect,
he smiled towards me, rolling his eyes.
I let my gaze meet his before snapping back to the street.
But definitely perfect enough..

So,
I mumbled and scratched the back of my neck, “Ice cream?
polina Jan 15
I want to experience it -
The youthful thrill of trembling hands,
Smiles softened by the dying sunlight
Words, cotton-candy sweet, adoring
Uncomplicated, understanding, bright.

I want to feel it -
Love, a feeling sickly-sweet and soft,
Or puppy love, as mom will call it
I want those phone calls into midnight, laughs
Inside jokes, adoring, “let’s go bowling” -
I want the hangouts that stretch
into technicolor dreams
Hugs, languid, smiles drunken
Love, oh how I want to drown
in your beam.
hsn Jan 14
mind is pacing
hands are full
calendar ticking
away towards
bound due dates
sweat in sleep that
no tablefan can fix
thoughts of
exams and fears
reoccuring torment
of embarrasing moments
that i want to keep away

why must this be the life
god has carved for me?
wrote this in msip
David Pan Dec 2024
Do you sense their means, a shot and fast,
Where words are power, opinion takes no feather light.
Where rhythm and rhyme will make anything be true,
A world of with others are waiting for you.
If your heart beats fast when you create and ran
If you want to share what wake your brain,
Come and join us now, let your voice be heard,
In the Poetry Club, where you truly awake
Write, and think, and we all create
New place for us to share, to trust.
Make your story, and you may best.
Languages do not make us alone,
we can make the beauty of it along.
You can use translate,
and it’s no, and nor too late.
From David Pan-Basis Independent Brooklyn/ Accident if someone get similar things as I do.
I was going to the high computer literacy class
A class that I despise
A class that I dread
I go and sit but .....
It was the last time I sit for all of eternity
As I sit  out taking a breath
I don't feel my heart beat
I was sitting lifeless  in my chair
Some of the students noticed that I was not doing
Anything
The teacher was calling 911 as he noticed that I was not breathing as I just sit there limp
It feels like I was locked in my dead body, my soul that was!
I cannot enter the spirit world and as I try to enter. The realm
I am just at the borderlands
I wish I could move but I could not
Soon they realized what I already know
That I was dead and in limbo!  As they realized this they call
The medical examiner instead
Because I ain't breathing
Then I was taking to the morgue
As the drive I scream
"It's the ******* classes that caused my death
The ******* stress and boredom
The fact that I was deciding to break free!"
But what the does the driver say nothing  as I try to be heard!
I am processed and borough in for autopsy
The medical examiner said this ....
"Who do we have here today!"
She looks at my papers and said my full name
Elena Melanson
Before she could get the scalpel I tell physically make sounds
Telling her he exact cause of death
"It was that ******* computer lit class
That killed me, it borded and
Stressed me to death!"  
She finds this remarkable that I would be able to talk with
My own voice
Then for the last time my soul hits the boarder lands
And goes right to the spirit world
And that was when my body went limp for the last time
Had I found peace? 
I am from dearh's cold grip and I find that I am
In a perpetual summer with
Wild followers all over the place
It seems peaceful and I go to the light
I am at peace!"
Written this in highschool
Anais Vionet Dec 2024
(a piece from high school (I’ve been reorganizing))

I am simply at my worst these days.
Wild and unpredictable emotions rush on me - it's a place where the layer of control and composure are very thin.

This school year has been an endless working, always desperate, collection of days.

Each passing week seemed to unmask some flaw in me.. Like peeling a rotten onion.

Emotionally, spiritually, I’m drubbed—I droop like a hanged man.

It's not the work—I survive (piano) competitions and academic battles as if by some brand of magic..

No, it's more.
I have lost my goal. Like biblical engineers raising the tower of Babel on the plain of Sennaar, I am struck by a lack of focus. My direction, my original plans, seem shallow—I stand purposefully gelded.

It's worse because I'm somehow so much less who I want to be.

Like an asymptotic curve I constantly miss my ideal. I am hunted, internally, by my own inner voice, that ruthless, pittyless, seeker of perfection.. it lurks like the prowling wolf, stalk bent walk.. sifting my every thought, my every action for flaws.. until like the wing weary hunted pray I could almost welcome the killers warmth for sweet silence

In a mood somewhere between cowardly and courageous I finally approached my mom..

In a speech from the scaffold, I told her of my black, tight, treacherous spiral.. of my doubts about everything.

I expected the worst.. a disappointment, in less than cryptic, ciphered messages, a slow sharpening of her claws on me for endless shortcomings..

Instead, I got miracles..
as if rigid constellations had shifted.. an atmosphere of freedom earned.. and at least for that moment, the mom who used to sing me awake in the mornings as a girl.. and a delicious summer of rest.
.
.
A song for this:
Everyday Is A Winding Road by Sheryl Crow
Cruel To Be Kind by Letters to Cleo
.
Oh, and a Christmas playlist because—it’s December!:
https://daweb.us/xmas/Christmas_02.mp3
BLT Merriam Webster word of the day challenge 12/05/24:
drub = soundly defeated
a silva Nov 2024
Inside me lives the regret of high school.
Was standing beside achievers worth it?
I stood proud, loud; but what did it cost me?

My crippling body—frail, pale, and exhausted.
Was this the trophy? Was I proud to show this?
I was among the great, yet I was a pretender.
A pretender that I was okay with this lifestyle—
To keep up with the pressure, but was I really?

In the end, who was I trying to impress?
Was I supposed to feel this empty?
I achieved something, yet it meant nothing.
I stood on that pedestal, but the crowd was empty.
Now, I carry on the weight of who I tried to be.
mikey Nov 2024
can see it now in a stuffy auditorium
half of those students don’t give a ****
it’s hotter than a crematorium
and everyone just wants to go out to lunch

i can see her now - the principal’s crying
she can hardly get the words out
nervous laughter and everyone’s trying
whatever it is, to figure it out

i can see me too, when she breaks the news
“i regret to inform you” but i already knew
grim curiosity, we’re all wondering who
and the world liquifies when she says it’s you

silence, something switches, day to night
last night you were found dead, abandoned
and i’m saying no god, it can’t be right
cause he would have called me beforehand
i’m always gonna be so grateful he called me beforehand. i hope he knows he can still call anytime.
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