I still don’t know why we broke up really. You ended things so abruptly. And the only explanation you could give me was "it wasn't a good time for me to be in a relationship, and that it's not you its me..” Cliche... But .... just like that you were gone, leaving me wondering where you were for days, worrying, not knowing if you were okay.... I have no idea what you’re doing with your life or why you felt the need to cut me out of it, after thinking about it I immediately began dwelling on what I did wrong, what I could have done differently. I thought that by doing this I was being productive, like I could change what happened. But I can’t. And what happened isn’t my fault. And maybe you tried to tell me that, but no one could have made me think different...I couldn’t believe things were over, not that quickly. I have no idea if any of the things you said to me during our relationship were true. I really hope they were, but with the way you cut me out so quickly, it’s hard for me to believe you loved and cared about me the way you said you did. You gave up on us too easily. I wish you had tried a little harder and I wish that you felt I was worth it, because I know I am.. I wish we had a fight or one of us did something to cause the break up, but the fact that it was so sudden left me feeling completely blindsided. You told me you loved me and that you didn’t want to lose me. And then you vanished. It’s just kind of surreal..... I'm still angry and frustrated... You pretty much left me with a million unanswered questions.. or too long I have apologized to people about who I am, because I’ve always been convinced that it’s always my fault. But not anymore, not this time, I’m not going to apologize to you. Yes, I am insecure and am always trying to figure out what everyone thinks of me. I can be immature and will always be a little girl at heart. I have a constant need to feel loved and appreciated; I have overactive tear ducts, and a tendency to be too clingy. But sometimes when you love something, you just want to be surrounded by it. I overreact about things too much and tend to get a temper when I’m mad. I’m selfish, stubborn, and defensive but I mean well. I’m small and stubby and I don’t like small talk..... And I still want too, really, I still want to hate you, but... I can't. I still like you, as much as I've tried to deny the feelings, they are still there....But I wouldn't want to be put in the position of potentially getting hurt like that again, so I've moved on and I'm doing me... I still wish the best for you, and hope you get what you want out of life.
Until next time...
The one that still loves you.
