#ftm poems on Hello Poetry

jaden Apr 2018

she no longer wakes up in the morning
to look in the mirror and try to
convince herself and the world
that she's still a girl

they stopped waking up in the morning and looking in the mirror trying to convince . .
no prove that they're identity
isn't up for debate

he started waking up in the morning
to look at himself in the mirror to try to convince . .
no prove . .
no reassure himself that he is
exactly who he says

i wake up every morning and
I go to the mirror and try to convince . .
no prove . .
no reassure . .
no state that I am
a man and nobody can say otherwise

#transgender #ftm #lgbt

Marlo Qi SilhouetteOfADeadKid Apr 2018

jury duty

out of everyone
it could've been anyone
but i was chosen for this task that no one wants.
as i walk to the door
i wonder why
as i turn the ****
i wonder why
as the dreaded creak means my entrance is now
i wonder
why.

dragged in here
i float
as i hear people scream
defending their side
i just can't decide
but maybe they aren't screaming
i think that might be me
because of the pain it brings
when they pull me in their opposite directions..
until i fall apart
but i was never really together.

raw in pieces
they keep giving me evidence
to prove that they are right
right about me

i guess i'm the guest
that doesn't want to be here
but they sure feel like unwanted guests
inside my head.

"she's a girl"
"he's a boy"
"because of this"
"because of that"
this can't be true
that can't be true

i'm just an observer
in this court room
but then why am i in the center?

i'm was picked at random,
the chosen one
and i really wish i wasn't.

#questioning #anxiety #denying #gender #trans #transgender #boy #girl #ftm #mtf

silas Apr 2018

their definition

i'm sorry
that i don't fit
your definition of male.

i'm sorry
i don't have testosterone
running rampant in my veins
i'm sorry
i don't have a bulge
like the mound on a hill
i'm sorry
i don't have a flat chest
acceptable enough to expose in the summer

i'm sorry
you can't begin to understand my heart
before judging my body.
i'm sorry
you were raised to define a man
by what's in his pants.
i'm sorry
you would rather spend your life
invalidating me
and so many others
than open the doors
that beg for a chance

but i
am just as much of a man
as the next guy.

to empower trans people all over the world.

#lgbt #transgender #ftm #depression #silaswrites #notsorry #men

Ashton Ard Feb 2018

Help me

Help me
by Ashton Ard

Help me,
is something I wish I could say,
Just waiting until the day I can finally be freed from this prison I built around me.
Everyday gets harder to breathe,
I tear at my skin
ripping off the weights holding me back,
making me hold my breath.
It's too late for me to be better,
I've been bottled up for way too long.
I wish I could be strong,
like you all want me to be,
choking back my tears, I wash away my fears,
hoping to leave no trace of who I was.
Who was that girl,
who everyone thought was a lesbian?
I don't know,
because that was never me.
I forced myself into a box,
girls wear pink,
boys wear blue,
Help me,
is something I wish I could say,
just waiting until the day I can finally be freed from the prison I built around me.
Boys play sports,
girls play dolls,
No!
I scream,
This world doesn't see the many colors of who you can really be.
I rip at my chest,
I rip at my hair,
why can't I just be happy?
it's the worlds fault for pushing us back.
We're people too,
We love just like you,
Help me,
I whisper underneath my breath.
The prison walls around me fall down,
I stand in the middle of a field,
A single rainbow stands before me.
Finally,
I'm accepted,
I'm loved,
I'm happy.
Thank you.

#trans #lgbt #ftm #mtf #love #acceptance

matthew Feb 2018

coming out

unspoken words,
years of silence

it is time
to spread my wings

to embrace;

i am transgender

#lgbt #trans #transgender #mtf #ftm #gay #lesbian #pride #queer #loveislove

Tyler James Miller Feb 2018

Dysphoria

I wake up everyday, fix myself up and put my binder on. I make sure i look masculine enough with my button up shirt and skinny jeans on.
I wish i was like all the other boys that walk down the hall at school. Flat chested, tall, fit, strong with a deep voice. But instead I'm a C cup, short, small with a squeaky voice and get called a lesbian all the time.
How do people go to the toilet in public, i start getting a panic attack just thinking about it.
I can’t even go a day without freaking out, because someone said ‘she’.
I look down at myself…
god why am i like this, why can’t i be normal.
I want a flat chest, so i don’t come home with aching ribs everyday, struggling to breathe.
I want a deep voice, so i don’t get called a 12 year old girl.
I want to be tall, so i don’t get pushed and shoved to the floor.
I want to be masculine so it doesn’t feel like I'm getting stabbed in the chest from being misgendered.
All the other guys i see walking down the halls at school, are proud and happy, they don’t get told “but you still look like a girl” or get called she, or the wrong name. So why can’t i be like them, perfect and handsome.
Why can’t i just be me and be happy..
Why..why..why..
-Tyler Miller

#gender #dysphoria #transgender #trans #ftm

Dirk Jan 2018

What Do You Mean "Boy"

The first time I gathered up enough courage
To tell my father his sons name
He looked at me
I watched his mouth move

"It'll be hard for me to let go" He says
He says
He says
He says
Like that would grab the dying name from Hell
And drag it back up again
But it doesn't
And he's disappointed

"You'll always be my little girl" He says
And my throat dries
And my heart dies
And my eyes shut tight
Like that would shield me from the sword
He stabbed into my very being
But it doesn't
And I'm disappointed

The first time I gathered up enough hate
To rip my body into little shards
He looked at me
I watched his mouth smile

Coming out to my dad did not go well lets just say that much

#ftm #comingout #transgender #lgbt #sad

Dirk Jan 2018

Untitled

My eyes are not sunlit windows to my own self, rather dimmed and tinted blockades to never give you a full picture. They are not a colourful array of flowers, they are dull and wilting weeds.

My lungs cannot breathe in and smell the roses because they are laced with tar, and not enough oxygen from shallow breathing. They are restricted from fulfilling out their purpose so I can feel 'okay.'

My ears will not listen to the buzzing of bees and the gentle wind- they will, however, listen to the screams between them and confuse help with hate.

My tongue does not taste of honeysuckle and mint, but rather ash and dried blood from tasting my existence. It formulates words laced with too much sleep and too little self care.

My fingertips do not touch as if I am handling the daintiest of flower petals, instead they trace a gravestone between my ribs with a purpose. They tear at my own skin and hair, or at least try to.

Do not devalue my battleground of a body by comparing it to a garden

Just a little thing I made because I'm nothing less than a warrior

#dysphoria #eatingdisorder #anorexia #ftm #feelings

Karisa Brown Jan 2018

Ftm fight

He wrote
inscripted objects
Into my eye

He bountied
For affection
One not
Likely met

She screamed
While sufficating
Her authenticity

He shouted
Yea she'll come back

She wore her wedding gown
Into the dessert
And was found drowned

He wrote
Inscripted objects
Into my eye

The novels now
A mystery
My Life
Total chaos
With a smile

Because he's no
Longer with me
I cry my left eye out

#transgender #gay #ftm #love #secret #lives